


The Christmas Conundrum

by Zoa



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Babies, Bachelor Mother au, Boss/Employee Relationship, Child Abandonment, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Holidays, there is no accuracy whatsoever concerning the social services aspect of this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-01-24 02:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoa/pseuds/Zoa
Summary: After getting fired from her job right before the holidays, Rey is accidentally mistaken for an abandoned baby’s mother and is forced to take care of him. Ben Solo is the boss guilted into giving Rey her job back. Confusion, chicanery, and romance ensue.Inspired by the films 'Bachelor Mother' and 'Bundle of Joy'
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Kylo Ren
Comments: 244
Kudos: 551





	1. Chapter 1

A November wind that threatened to dump the weight of a polar vortex down on Chandrila pushed Rey into the entrance of Skywalker Incorporated with a gust that nearly knocked her down. She fluffed the snow from her shoulders and shook it from her now-mussed hair with a sigh. One more of these winters and she was going to move south. 

Maybe she should go south anyway. Being in the big city hadn’t exactly gone so well. 

No funds.

Deadbeat boyfriend who ate up all those funds.

Oh wait. 

Percy had dumped her and left with all the money in the house in the middle of the night. 

So no deadbeat boyfriend anymore. 

That was something. 

Rey pushed the ‘up’ button on Elevator Number 4 a few more times than necessary and a little harder than needed, cursing under her breath at the slow car. The seven or eight people waiting for the same elevator shuffled behind her and herded toward the other three elevators which already had a full retinue of passengers awaiting them. 

Good. She didn’t want the company anyway. 

When the elevator doors opened a few seconds later she was greeted by a familiar face.

“Ms. Niima.” The attendant, Threepio, greeted her in his usual clipped tone. His first name was Charles but someone had tried calling him Charlie one time and he’d refused to be acknowledged by anything except his last name. “How are you today?”

“Fine.” Rey replied noncommittally as she stepped into the elevator.

Threepio considered her with his amber (which Rey thought were actually closer to gold) eyes for a moment before sending the elevator to the proper floor. 

“Are you alright, Ms. Niima?”

She needed a better poker face.

“I’m fine.” Threepio’s brow furrowed at her tone and Rey sighed. He hadn’t deserved to get snapped at. “I’m sorry, Threepio. I’m not… not totally okay but I will be.” She offered a smile and he nodded once in acceptance. 

The doors opened to her floor and she stepped out. Whether she would really be okay or not remained to be seen, but at least Threepio cared. Which was a surprise from the usually gloomy elevator attendant. 

A few minutes later she was settled into the front desk of Skywalker Incorporated’s publishing department and already fielding a call from a potential client. Skywalker Incorporated was the umbrella company of an enterprise with many branches and interests, built up over fifty years by the company's founder, Anakin Skywalker. At the beginning, the business’s sole dealings was farming equipment, but at a certain point Skywalker expanded his tiny firm to include nearly everything under the sun thanks to some canny contracts and mergers. 

Rey worked in the company’s administrative headquarters’ publishing department, a relatively new area for Skywalker Incorporated but one that was already paying off. The branch’s director, Ben Solo, may have been the company CEO’s son, but he knew what he was doing. 

As she redirected the caller to the manager they wanted, her best friend and fellow employee, Finn Stormman, approached laden with the department’s mail. 

“Hey, peanut.” He looked at her sympathetically. She’d already vented to him about the ordeal with Percy over the phone on the way to work. “How are you?”

Rey hummed in mock consideration and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “Let me see… I’m broke because my asshole boyfriend decided to dump me and steal every spare dollar in my apartment last night so… good?”

Finn grimaced and placed the mail gingerly on the desk. “Yeah… remind me to take you out for drinks tonight.”

“Do _not_ think I won’t take you up on that.” Rey said, sifting through the pile of mail. “I need a row of tequila shots after last night. Also, you can buy me dinner. Because I’m broke.”

Finn snorted. “I’m glad you don’t suffer from too much pride to ask for help.”  
  
“Oh, it’s not that.” Rey paused in her activity and looked up at Finn pointedly. “This is number one of many favors I’ve done you that I’m cashing in.”

He laughed at that. “You’re gonna be okay, peanut.” He told her. “I promise.”

Rey managed a slight smile, warmed by his words even if she didn’t completely believe them. “Thanks, Finn.” 

“Don’t mention it. By the way, that one’s for you.” He indicated a yellow envelope sitting on top of the pile on the desk. 

As she reached for the envelope in question, Rey gave Finn an admonishing look. “Are you reading my mail now? You know that’s a federal offense?”

Finn grinned. “Are you gonna report me? Besides, I didn’t actually read it. I just saw your name.”

“Uh huh.” Rey considered the slim envelope in her hand for a moment. She’d been at the Skywalker Incorporated for six months and hadn’t received any mail - at home or at work - yet. As a lowly administrative assistant she didn’t think she would ever receive anything except her paycheck. “What is it?”

“I told you I didn’t open it.” Finn leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. “Maybe it’s a raise?”

“That would be miracle beyond belief.” Rey replied wryly, ripping open the envelope as she spoke. She scanned the contents and burst into laughter. Horrible, humorless, hysterical laughter. She sounded insane even to her own ears.

“Peanut, what the hell?” Finn stared at her with mouth agape. 

Why not share the news? Spread the word to the whole floor? The entire building?

“It’s definitely not a raise.” Rey gasped, trying to stop the giggles still erupting from her throat. “I’ve been fired!”

****

Finn did his best to console her but it was no use.

Her day was officially hell and she didn’t want to deal with it. 

Her first long term job since moving to the city a year and a half ago and it was gone in three seconds. According to the termination letter, her job was being replaced by an automatic system. Some kind of experimental thing that Ben Solo wanted to try. Pull the humanity out of the company apparently.

So broke, dumped, and fired. 

Perfect. The Trifecta.

She left the office so quickly the only thing she grabbed was her coat. 

The cold nipped at her unprotected ears and nose as she hurried away from the shiny chrome building that made up all of Skywalker Inc. 

Thankfully she started to cry after leaving the building, sparing her any additional embarrassment. She was pretty sure the tear stains were frozen to her cheeks but she didn’t care. 

_Ben Solo. _

The name had been signed in a flowing script that was far too extravagant for the shattering message it bore. She cursed its owner with more venom than she ought to have but the bastard was too far up his own ass and privilege to know how being fired like that at this time of year was fucked up. 

She kicked at a piece of ice in her path, sending into the brick wall of a nearby brownstone. She looked morosely at the shards of ice and considered how those shards were so much like her life… frozen, stagnant, it’s future to lay there until it melted by the sun and forgotten by time. 

A cry from her left brought her attention away from the ice and to the steps of the brownstone by which she’d stopped - a bronze sign on the wall announced it was a social services building. Rey watched as a young woman in a tattered coat ran down the slick steps, leaving behind a noisy bundle on the top stair. A tiny hand reached out of a blue blanket and toward the fleeing woman, grasping desperately, but in the process the swaddled parcel inched dangerously close to the edge of the step. 

Rey sprang into action and rushed up the stairs to prevent the baby from tumbling down. She reached out and scooped the little creature into her arms just as it rolled off the step. Hazel eyes that reminded her of her own peered at her from a reddened, chubby face. 

“Shhh,” Rey hugged the baby to her chest, shielding it from the cold. “Hey, it’s okay. Well, maybe not.” She looked down at the child, who had calmed down a little when she’d picked it up. The baby looked up at her with wide, tear-stained eyes in a kind of hopeless expression Rey knew too well. “You just got dumped too, huh?” 

Something sharp poked Rey’s finger and she flipped a corner of the baby’s blanket up to reveal a note pinned to the soft fabric. 

_I’m sorry. I can’t take care of him. Please give him a good home. His name is Ben._

A child abandoned on a stranger’s doorstep. That was a familiar tale. 

“Ben, huh?” Rey wrinkled her nose at the sniffling child. “I know a Ben. He’s not so great. Hopefully you’ll turn out better.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Rey raised her head and met the surprised expression of an older woman in the doorway of the building. 

“Oh, good.” Rey laughed in relief. “A woman left this baby here…” She paused at the sympathetic expression the woman gave her. 

“You don’t need to do this, dear.” She said and Rey narrowed her eyes. 

“What?” 

The woman sighed and stepped forward. “We can help you.”

“Uh, okay.” Rey thought that was a strange way to phrase the words, but figured the woman was an eccentric. She shifted to hand the baby over. “Yeah, the baby needs help. His name is Ben…”

“Why don’t you both come inside.” The woman stepped back and opened the door. “Get warm and we can have a conversation. Whatever your hardships, you don’t need to abandon your baby.”

The realization of what the woman had assumed hit Rey like a freight train and she choked and spluttered in her haste to explain. “No, no no no no. This,” she glanced at the baby, who was gripping the collar of her coat tightly in his little hand, “this isn’t mine. I just… someone” - she gestured in the direction the young woman had gone - “left it here. It’s not mine!” 

“Dear-”  


“Listen lady,” Rey snapped and the baby started bawling. “Oh, shit!”

She tried, over the baby’s cries, to explain the situation but the woman was not having it. No matter how rational Rey was the old woman did not believe her. 

At the same moment Rey was contemplating throwing the baby at the woman and running away, she sensed another, heavier presence behind her and swung around. 

A pair of deep brown eyes peered down at her from a very tall figure in a black coat which barely fit its owner's broad shoulders.

“What’s going on?” He asked and Rey shamefully thought she could listen to his baritone voice all day. 

Which was unfortunate because she knew exactly who he was and that alone was enough to slash his attractiveness in half. 

“_Ben Solo_.” She hissed. “You fucking _bastard_!” 

Any control she might have had left completely abandoned her and she let go on her former boss, yelling at him about firing her in the middle of the holiday season and that she was broke and had no savings thanks to her asshole boyfriend and what did he mean by replacing her with a robot anyway? Every frustration she had came out on those front steps before two very bewildered witnesses. 

When she paused to take a breath she had the opportunity to gauge the audience reaction. Ben Solo was staring at her like she had grown a second head; the social services lady was glaring at him; and the baby was giggling. Apparently Rey’s tirade had amused him. 

She couldn’t help the upward tug of her lips as she looked down at the grinning face in her arms. 

“Sir, did you _really_ fire this young woman?” The social worker demanded, bringing Rey’s attention back to the other adults. Ben Solo blinked as he dragged his eyes away from Rey. 

“I guess so.” He admitted breathlessly. “I didn’t know she had a kid.” He steered his gaze back to Rey and his eyes narrowed in what Rey could only assume was suspicion. 

Rey opened her mouth to explain that she didn’t actually have a child but the social worker interrupted. 

“You didn’t know? What kind of employer doesn’t know something like that? How could you fire her? She came to us because she can’t take care of her own child! She’s hopeless, lost, alone!”

Rey gawked at the orating lady, somewhat impressed by the speech but also mortified because none of it was true. 

“Hey-”

The lady put a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Hush, dear. Let me take care of this.”

“Look,” Solo put his hands up. “I didn’t know. But this” - he gestured from Rey to the baby - “is not my fault.”

The social worker began to berate the man in earnest - leaving him no room to respond - and after about a minute finished with: 

“I think the least you could do is give the poor girl her job back!”

_Oh._ Rey bounced the baby a little as it started to wriggle in her arms. _Okay, I can deal with this. Work with me, baby._

Solo looked like he was struggling with the decision, glancing between Rey, the baby, and the social worker. Rey was indignant that he could be so hesitant in front of a struggling single mother and had to remind herself she wasn’t actually that single mother. But there was still the principle of the thing.

“Well?” The social worker crossed her arms and tapped a foot impatiently. 

Ben Solo groaned. “Fine. She can have her job back.”

Rey gasped, shocked the entreaty had worked. “Mr. Solo-”

“There!” The older woman interrupted with a gleeful clap of her hands. “Now you don’t have to give up your baby, dear!”

“What?” Rey jumped. “Wai-”

“Why would she give him up?” Solo tilted his head in a curious manner, a glint in his eyes Rey didn’t like. She got the distinct impression he was testing her. “All you needed was your job back, right?”

Rey’s mouth opened and closed like a fish until a chubby hand reached up and grabbed her bottom lip. “Owth!” While she was wrangling herself from the baby’s surprisingly tight hold, Rey fought to think of a way out of this new problem. If she insisted on giving the baby to the social services lady, she would have to explain why and that would mean losing her restored employment status. The alternative was keeping the baby, which presented a whole other set of issues.

She _really _needed that job. 

Taking care of the thing for awhile looked like her only choice. But she’d need a little extra help in the financial department.

“Um, well, not exactly the only thing.” She shrugged, hugging the baby closer and rubbing its back in the way she’d seen some mothers do. “I should have gone to HR…” She sniffed and was gratified to see Solo’s stern expression shift to trepidation. 

“What?”

“I mean, you did fire me without warning or reason.” Rey said. “I could have gone all the way to the top.” She pointed to the sky to indicate his mother’s position. “And somehow _someone_ forgot to add my baby to my file. That’s quite the oversight.”

A lie, but what else could she do?

“What do you want? A raise?” Solo snapped. “Fine.”

Rey pressed her lips together. A raise? She glanced at the baby and back to Solo. A raise. 

“Twenty percent.” She said. Solo gawked at her for a moment before shaking his head.

“Ten.”

“Twenty or I sue.” Rey insisted.

Solo’s jaw worked in a way that shouldn’t have been attractive but was and Rey struggled to maintain her glare. 

“Fifteen,” he grit out. 

With an exaggerated sigh, Rey reached into her coat pocket for her phone - which wasn’t there because she’d rushed out of the office but Solo didn’t need to know that. “I suppose I’ll call my lawyer…”

_My nonexistent lawyer._

A large hand shot out and nearly grabbed her arm but stopped short when Rey’s head snapped up with a warning scowl. Ben Solo dropped his hand to his side. “Fifteen and you’ll get paid time off.” He said, a desperate note in his voice.

After a moment of a silent stare down, Rey smiled sweetly and nodded. 

“Thank you, Mr. Solo. I will accept your generous offer.”

She could keep the baby for a little while, save her funds, then take the kid to another social services office and get him the help he needed. 

How hard could it be to take care of a baby anyway?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI THERE. Sorry for the delay in getting this next chapter up. Certain circumstances have prevented me from spending a lot of time writing but that's changed now so hopefully I'll be able to update not just this one, but my other wips. 
> 
> Here's hoping!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter (which turned out longer than I thought it would) and let me know what ya think in the comments! I love to hear from you!🥰

After Solo left (which he couldn't do fast enough), saying something about Rey not having to be back at work right away, the social worker gave Rey nearly everything she would need to care for the baby - diapers, formula, another blanket, a car carrier among other things. Rey accepted the proffered supplies without argument. They would last her until she could get the kid somewhere he could be helped. 

Only when she arrived back at her apartment did the full realization fall on her that she was now the sole caretaker of an infant but had no idea how to take care of one.

As Rey struggled to shut the door, her arms laden with the baby supplies and the baby, the tiny creature began to cry again, his face reddening as he screamed for something Rey couldn’t guess. 

“What?” She whined, doing her best to calm the baby and set everything down without spilling it. Which turned out to be futile. She ended up dropping everything on her living room floor. It was that or drop the kid. Who was still screaming like the world was ending. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? You want your mom?” Rey paced the floor, making little noises she thought babies liked to calm the child down. But nothing was working. 

“What in Hades is going on in here?” 

Rey whirled around with a gasp. The tiny woman who was Rey’s landlady appeared in the still-open entrance to Rey’s apartment, giant round glasses perched low on her nose as she peered imperiously into the room.

There was a moment the two women stared at each other as if in a standoff. Maz looked between Rey and the baby, eyes bouncing like a rubber ball. Rey cleared her throat. 

“Oh, hi Maz…” 

“What have you done, child?”

The baby wailed louder, drowning out Rey’s answer. Rey groaned and attempted to bounce the child in her arms, but it didn’t work. Rey threw a desperate look at Maz. 

“I don’t know what to do! He won’t stop crying!”

The smaller woman rolled her eyes and huffed before stepping into the apartment and plucking the baby from Rey’s arms. To Rey’s horror, she lifted the baby and smelled the child’s bottom, recoiling instantly. 

“He needs to be changed, dear.” 

“Ew!” Rey cringed and took a step back. “I was carrying that thing while it..?” Queasiness rolled over her in a wave and she pressed a hand to her mouth.

Maz watched her with a stern glare. “It’s a natural function, girl. Do you have diapers?”

Rey cleared her throat and gestured to the mess on the floor. “Somewhere down there.” The older woman gave her a look and Rey sprang into action, sifting through the fallen baby things to find the pack of diapers. “Got them!” She exclaimed triumphantly. 

“Wipes?”

Rey again rummaged through and found the required item.

“Good. Now change him.” Maz held the baby out and Rey froze. 

“W-what?” She stared at the squirming, red-faced baby and shook her head. “Uh huh. Nope. I don’t… I don’t know how.”

Holding the baby to her chest, Maz grunted. “Well. I suppose I can help this once. And you can explain just how you came into possession of this poor child.”

Half a disgusting hour later in which Rey saw things she never wished to see again, the baby was clean, changed, and napping in the car carrier Rey had been given by social services. In between Rey gagging and Maz chiding her for gagging, Rey’d managed to get out the events of that morning. 

After about thirty seconds of silence as Maz digested what she’d heard, Rey’s landlady barked out a laugh that Rey hurriedly shushed. 

“You’ll wake up the baby!” She hissed but Maz continued to chuckle. 

“Only a few hours in and you’re acclimating well to motherhood!” She said warmly. Rey flushed crimson and sat back on the couch with her arms crossed. The older woman hummed. “Nonetheless I think you do need some help. Alright,” she pat Rey’s knee, “call me whenever you need a hand, dear. I’ll be there.”

Rey brightened. “Really? It won’t be for long. Maybe a month.”

A wrinkled brow raised. “A month?” 

“Yes,” Rey nodded. “I’m going to take him back.” When Maz gave her a disappointed look she added: “I can’t keep a baby, Maz! This is only until I can save some money and get out of the hole Percy left me in.”

Maz narrowed her eyes, surveying Rey in a way that made her draw back. It was like Maz was probing Rey’s mind, searching for something. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Maz stood up. “Well,” the landlady said cheerfully. “Since that’s the case I will enjoy having a child around this dump while I can.” 

“You own this building.” Rey reminded her. Maz shrugged as she made her way to the front door. 

“And I acknowledge its faults. Get some rest dear. You’re going to need it!” 

Rey could hear Maz chuckling all the way down the stairs to the first floor.

****

The baby was asleep long enough for Rey to get the apartment straightened up, managing to find a place for baby Ben’s things in the tiny kitchen’s pantry closet.

When she was done she collapsed on the couch and pulled a pillow over her face, huffing out a deep sigh. Was there really a baby sleeping in her bedroom? Had she really adopted a child? 

Albeit illegally and unwillingly. 

Even so, she was responsible for a tiny human being and that was something she hadn’t expected to happen for a long time, if ever. Rey pulled the pillow off her head to stare at the ceiling. Kids hadn’t exactly been at the forefront of her mind. She’d never talked about the possibility with Percy. Frankly, she would never have even considered it with him even if it was something she was sure she wanted. 

Although he definitely would have gone along with her scheme, particularly as it promised more money. Even though it wasn’t technically her fault, she was still taking advantage of a tiny, abandoned baby in order to manipulate her boss. That was a classic Percy move if ever there was one. 

Rey groaned and covered her face again with the pillow. 

“I’m the worst person in the world.”

A sharp knock had her shooting off the couch and flying at the apartment’s front door to prevent another loud noise from possibly waking the baby. But she was too late. Another knock echoed through her apartment and a split second later Rey heard a yowl come from her bedroom. 

Her face scrunching up in an angry scowl, Rey yanked the front door open to reveal the bewildered face of Finn. “What do you want?” She snapped. “You woke up the baby!” 

Finn’s jaw dropped. “What baby?” He exclaimed then held up a hand, registering for the first time the crying emanating from within the apartment. “Rey, is that a baby?”

With a growl that could have cowed a lion Rey stomped into her bedroom and gathered the baby into her arms, which immediately quelled his sobs. When she returned to the living room she nodded at Finn. 

“Finn, meet Ben. Ben, this is Finn.” She shifted the baby so that he could look at Finn’s stricken face. “Right now he looks more like a fish than a man, but I promise he’s really normal.” As if he could understand her, the baby giggled and Rey grinned. “Good baby.” 

“Rey. What the fuck?”

“Shhhh!” Rey put her forefinger to her lips and scowled. “Watch your mouth when Ben’s around.”

A furious round of blinking followed from her bewildered friend. “Why do you have a baby? Why is it named Ben? Rey? Rey.” He put up a hand, his eyes widening. “Is that Ben Solo’s baby? Does Ben Solo have a baby? Did you kidnap Ben Solo’s baby?”

Had Rey’s hands not been occupied she would have thrown them up in the air. “No, of course not!” She exclaimed. “He’s… well, I found him.”

“You… you _found_ him?”

Rey took a deep breath and once again launched into the convoluted tale of how she came into possession of a baby. Finn was silent through the deluge, only taking the time to fall into one of Rey’s armchairs. He stared at the baby for such a long time that Rey experienced a strange sense of defensiveness, which was ridiculous since the baby wasn’t really hers. 

“Finn, say something.”

He finally raised his eyes and gawked at Rey. “You stole a baby.”

“Okay, I didn’t _steal_ him.” Rey huffed. “If you think about it, he was kind of given to me.”

“Under false pretenses!”

“They weren’t exactly listening to me!” Rey rocked the baby when he whined, apparently reading the growing tension in the room. “Whose side are you on, exactly?”

Finn sighed and stood up. “Yours, peanut. Always. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say I wasn’t. You can count on me. Whenever you need.”

“I know.” Rey murmured, ashamed of herself for doubting him. “I’m sorry.”

He walked over and put a reassuring hand on her arm. “Don’t be. You’ve got a lot going on. Hey, little guy,” he wiggled a finger in the baby’s direction, who reached for it with eager hands. “You’re kinda cute. Rose and I can babysit sometimes, if you need us. Oh,” he ran a hand over his head and blew out a deep breath. “She is gonna get baby fever for sure now.”

“Already having that talk, huh?” Rey laughed and the baby giggled too. “Well, if you need any practice you can take little Ben whenever you want.”

“‘Little’ Ben?” Finn raised a brow. Rey shrugged. “Little compared to..?”

“I already know one Ben and he’s,” she blew out her cheeks. “Big. I can’t just say Ben. People will get confused.”

“I don’t really think you’ll have that problem. Unless ‘big Ben’ is gonna be around, too.” 

“Fat chance of that.” Rey snorted. “I pretty much extorted a raise out of him. I think he’s going to stay as far away from me as possible.”

Finn laughed and said goodbye after that, needing to get home to his girlfriend. Rey made him swear that neither of them could tell anyone else the truth. It was to stay in the four-person group it was already in. Rey didn’t trust anyone else. She wasn’t close to anyone else. 

Rey let her gaze drift down to the baby in her arms, all bundled up in a onesie Maz had found in the collection of things from social services. Hiseyes were drifting closed.

“Poor thing,” she murmured, moving to the armchair Finn had vacated. “You’re probably more tired than I am.” One of the baby’s hands rose up and gripped Rey’s shirt in a firm hold and her heart wrenched in her chest. 

Of course he’d had a harder day she’d had. He’d been abandoned by the one person who was supposed to keep him safe. 

“I guess we’re the same, huh?” She whispered, swaying a little to rock him to sleep. “I was left too. I don’t know who my parents are.” For the first time in years tears sprang into her eyes over the thing she’d sworn never to cry over again. “We’re just a pair of nobodies.”

The tiny creature in her arms didn’t hear her. He was fast asleep. Rey stared at him for awhile, somehow reluctant to go put him in his crib - which Maz had found somewhere in the basement and brought up while Rey had been cleaning. 

“You’re not so bad, little guy.” She hummed. “Maybe this’ll be easier than I thought.”

****

Rey was woken up twice in the middle of the night by a cranky baby. Once because he needed a diaper change and the next seemed to be little Ben testing her patience. She rocked him, walked him, tried to feed him, looked at his diaper. Nothing worked. He kept crying and crying until he finally cried himself to sleep in Rey’s arms as she lay propped up in bed. Having giving up trying anything else, she decided to just hold him until he stopped. Which seemed to work. As soon as his cries stopped Rey drifted off but less than two hours later her phone’s alarm went off and along with it the baby. 

Needless to say Rey was exhausted when she arrived at work. Maz had taken the baby from a veritable zombie that morning and when Rey sat down at her desk she was already half asleep again. She hadn’t even greeted Threepio. When her ass met her chair she groaned in an almost obscene way and slumped back in it. 

“Heyyyyy, uh, Rey.” Finn’s voice above her forced Rey to raise her head. 

“What?” 

“Wow.” Though bleary-eyed she could still make out and be annoyed by his shocked expression. “You look terrible!”

“Thanks so much. Exactly what a girl wants to hear in the morning.” She mumbled, giving in to the temptation to lay her head on the desk. 

Finn made a sympathetic noise but she didn’t bother to look up again. “Had a hard night, huh?”

She managed to utter a muffled “Yeah.” 

“Well…” oh she did not like the tone in his voice. “You’re not gonna have a good day, either.”

Slowly and painfully Rey looked up again. “Why is that?” she asked, afraid to know the answer because she sensed it had something to do with the tiny human she’d taken in. Finn grimaced. 

“I guess Solo went and told HR about the kid because of paperwork reasons and now everyone knows and they’re all gossiping about it. About you. Wondering who the father is, why you didn’t tell anyone… someone even suggested it was Solo’s…”

“Oh god.” Rey pressed her palms into her eyes. “Why? Why me?”

A harsh voice echoed across the room, interrupting Rey’s pity party. “Niima! You have a baby? Since when?”

Oh no.

“Hux, go away!” Finn challenged the newcomer. “She doesn’t want to talk about it.”

The ginger menace - who had been trying to get into Rey’s pants for months - meandered over with a sour look. “A little late for that. Your gremlin has ruined productivity this morning.”

“He’s not a gremlin, asshole.” Rey snapped, for some reason defensive of a baby she’d only had for a day. But he didn’t deserve to be called names. Certainly not by Hux. “And it’s not my fault people around here can’t mind their own business.” 

As if on cue, a few passing employees caught sight of Rey and darted over to her desk. 

“Rey! You have a baby?”

Before Rey could blink or Finn could divert attention, half a dozen other employees were gathered around her desk, all of them asking questions about the baby. Hux kept stirring the pot and Finn did his best but couldn’t get anyone to leave. Rey stared at each face with mouth agape. She’d never had so many people focused on her in her life. 

She didn’t like it. 

“Who’s the father?”

“Is it that Percy dude?”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Because it’s her private business.” 

A commanding baritone made itself heard above the clamor and, like Moses parting the Red Sea, Rey watched Ben Solo push through the gawkers with the deadliest glower on his face. She threw Finn a bewildered glance and when her attention returned to Solo he was already at her desk. She had to crane her neck up to see him properly. His head blocked out the fluorescent light above them, which created a sort of halo effect. Rey blinked. She really was sleep deprived.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, surprising her. Rey nodded slowly. His brows knit together and he turned to face the abruptly silent crowd. “Get back to work. Stop harassing Miss Niima.”

Immediately the group dispersed, except for Finn. When Solo turned on him - to, Rey assumed, also tell him to leave - she quickly intervened. 

“He wasn’t bothering me. Finn’s my friend.” 

Solo seemed dubious, but proceeded to ignore the stunned Finn and turned back to Rey. “If they do that again, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll take care of it.” 

“Oh.” Rey blinked, darting another glance at Finn. “T-thank you. But I can handle it. Anyway, I get it. I’d be curious too if one of my co-workers suddenly had a baby.” 

Finn snorted, apparently recovered from his shock. “Sudden is right.”

Rey threw him a much dirtier look. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, Finn?”

“Huh? Oh,” Finn cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’ll see you at lunch, Rey.” 

“See you.”

While she’d wanted Mr. No Filter gone, she hadn’t anticipated that his absence would leave her alone with the boss. The boss who she’d threatened the day before and basically extorted. Which she did feel bad about. 

“So…” Rey chewed on her bottom lip. “Thanks. For this,” she gestured at her desk to indicate the zoo that had been there previously. “And for agreeing to my terms. Actually.” She grimaced. “You don’t have to. I was in a weird mood yesterday - I mean, being fired suddenly will do that - and I said some rude things and kind of threatened you which I shouldn’t have done.” She swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Solo responded, voice low. “I understand. You can keep the raise. You deserve it anyway. I’ve looked into your work. You’ve fielded some calls before that have helped us maintain clients.”

“Well, I mean, the agents were busy at the time. The clients were getting cranky. I thought I could help.”

Solo tilted his head. “I’ve been told you handled the situation well. I’m thinking your talents are too valuable for reception. How’s the kid?”

Rey didn’t know that one could suffer verbal whiplash, but that was exactly what she experienced. Had he really just told her she was getting promoted? And what the last part? “Huh?”

“Your kid. How is it?” Solo stuck his hands in his pants pockets, fisting them but in doing so making the fabric strain. His hands were huge. 

“My… my kid. Um, he’s fine.” Rey closed her eyes and told herself to pull it together. “He’s good. Kept me up last night, but he’ll pull through.”

“Good. Good.” Silence. “What’s his name?”

Name. The kid’s name. Rey took a deep breath before answering. Why couldn’t the kid have been named Alex or Daniel or something else not like her boss’ name?

“Ben.”

It must have been the way she said it, because he looked shocked, then irritated. 

“You don’t have to tell me, but I’d prefer it if my employees didn’t address me-”

“No. Not you. The baby’s name is Ben. It’s, ah, a, um, a family name.” Rey folded her hands together on the desk. “A great-uncle.”

“Oh.” Solo cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

Rey waved a hand dismissively. “It’s fine. I understand the confusion.”

He nodded but instead of leaving like she thought - hoped - he would, he asked another question: “How old is he?”

“Uh.” Rey blinked as she rushed to find a reasonable age. The baby was too big to be newborn but not big enough to be a toddler. So in between. “Six months.”

Ben Solo looked like he was doing some calculating in his head. “He was born just before you started here, then?”

Rey pressed her lips together. That’s right. She’d been at the company about six months. “Yep.” She swallowed. “A little before.”

“Where’s the father?” A deep scowl etched its way between Solo’s brows. “Why isn’t he helping with support?”

_The father._

“Not in the picture.” Rey made a vague gesture. “I don’t like to talk about it.” She added, hoping that would give him a hint. It did.

“Of course. I didn’t mean to pry. Um, keep up the good work. Again, if anyone bothers you, please contact my office.” With that he strode away toward the elevators. 

Rey slumped in her chair as soon as the elevator doors closed on him. That had been… strange. She hadn’t expected to see him again at all, much less have a civil conversation with him. A conversation in which he didn’t once berate her for her behavior the day before. Shaking her head, Rey tried to also shake off the interaction. Surely after this she wouldn’t see him again. Except maybe for the kind of alluded to promotion. Even then, he could work through another manager. 

No. She felt fairly certain she and Ben Solo’s interactions were at end. He’d just come to check on her, which was nice. But that was it. 

And that was a relief. The only thing she wanted was to get through the next few weeks without making a mistake. And the more lies she told, the more of a possibility that was. Ben Solo interference wouldn’t help. 

The phone rang and Rey was forced to jump back into work, forgetting all about babies and Ben Solo for the rest of the day. 

****

A knock on Rey’s door when she got home surprised her so much she nearly dropped the glass of wine she’d poured for herself. 

“Coming!” She called as another, more urgent knock sounded on the door. Opening it, she found herself staring down at a put out Maz and a squirming baby. The baby. “Oh shit… I forgot.”

She had. She had completely forgotten about the baby. And that she’d left him with Maz. 

“You forgot. Oh, child,” Maz looked at the baby sympathetically. “I’m so sorry you’re being cared for by another child. Ah well. I must go, my dear.” Maz held the baby up for Rey to take and Rey hastily put her wine down before taking little Ben in her arms. “He’s freshly changed and fed. I made up a schedule for you and put it on the refrigerator. Oh, and he likes the noisy blue giraffe toy the best. Have a good night!” 

Faster than Rey though the tiny lady could move, Maz was gone. A cooing noise from her arms brought her attention back to the baby. He was smiling and reaching for her face. He seemed happy to see her for some reason. An urge she couldn’t resist overcame Rey and she pressed a light kiss to one of his hands. A delighted giggle warmed her heart and she smiled. 

“You’ve eaten, huh? It’s my turn now. Let’s go make Rey some dinner.” 

Normally a simple task - open noodles, pour in water, put in microwave - dinner was a bit more complicated with a baby who didn’t want to be put down. Every time Rey tried to put him in the play pen she’d brought in from the living room, he’d cry until she picked him up. But that left her one-handed and unable to open the container of noodles, much less do anything else. 

So Rey decided to try something else. Open-faced grilled cheese it would be. 

But just as she put the cheesy bread on a pan to cook, another knock resounded through her apartment and she huffed out a breath, blowing away a stray curl that had fallen from her messy bun. On her way to the door with the baby propped on her hip, Rey slowed, smelling something that was definitely not cheese. 

“Oh, c’mon!” She looked at the red-faced baby in dismay. “Not now! And why does it smell so bad? I know what you eat!”

Whoever was outside tapped again at the door and Rey growled in frustration. She had no time to deal with a messy baby, dinner, and an unexpected guest. 

“One thing at a time, Rey, one thing at a time.” She puffed out her cheeks and made for the door before the person outside broke it down. 

“WHAT?” She snapped upon jerking the door open. 

_Oh shit. _

“Uh, hi?” Ben Solo raised a tentative hand in greeting. Rey wondered if some witch somewhere had cursed her. 

“Hi.” Rey squeaked in return. What in the hell was he doing here? What’s more he was carrying a baby bag covered in baby elephants holding each other’s tails that looked stuffed full. “What… oh shit!” An obnoxious siren wailed above her, the kitchen smoke alarms crying out. Solo pushed past her, dumping the bag he was carrying in the living room, and made for the haze that now enveloped Rey’s kitchen. 

“It’s fine!” He called. “Just a lot of smoke. Might want to keep him away, though. And, uh,” he emerged from the kitchen holding the pan she’d been cooking her sandwich in, which was now a chunk of coal. “I think this is done.”

Rey stared at the ruined pan and its even more ruined occupant that would have been her dinner. “I need to change Ben.” She blurted and walked past the bigger Ben toward her bedroom. Her brain had decided it could only function on an extremely basic level and changing the crying baby in her arms was what she decided to do with it. So she left her boss in her living room holding her burnt meal while she changed the baby. 

“I bet I can kiss that promotion goodbye,” she muttered, laying little Ben down on a blanket on her bed. A few minutes and two gagging breaks later, he was clean and Rey was proud of herself for managing it alone. 

When she and the baby returned, Solo wasn’t in the living room. Rey thought - hoped - he might have left and let her deal with her mortification alone, but alas, that was not the case. As she rounded the corner into the kitchen, she saw him hovering above the stove with a fresh pan and more cheese and bread. 

“Mr. Solo?” 

He turned and Rey looked him up down. His expensive suit jacket was off and draped across one of her kitchen chairs and the sleeves of his collared shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing strong, pale forearms. 

“You don’t mind, do you?” He gestured at the stove. “I thought I could help.”

Rey glanced at the baby - who was sucking on his fingers as he watched the two adults from his perch in Rey’s arms - and back at the man who’d taken on a more domestic visage than she’d ever imagined he could. Not that she’d imagined him a lot. 

“I, um, thank you… You didn’t have to.”

Solo gave a shrug. “You seemed overwhelmed. And it’s simple enough. Just grilled cheese. I’m not much of a cook, but I can manage that.” 

And, surprise of all surprises, he smiled at her. A small, barely-lifting-his-mouth kind of smile, but it was a smile nonetheless. Rey hadn’t thought him capable. It was nice. 

A blush she told herself was out of embarrassment bloomed on her cheeks and she ducked her head. “What’s in the bag?” she asked, looking for a distraction. 

“Baby things. For him.” He flipped the sandwich in the pan with expert dexterity. “I didn’t know if you had enough. And since his father isn’t helping…”

“You really didn’t have to do that.” Rey was mortified. He shouldn’t be buying her things. She couldn’t be in debt to him like that. “I can’t accept it. Social services gave me plenty of things, anyway.”

“Oh.” Somehow he seemed disappointed. Which made no sense so Rey told herself she was imagining it. “Well, alright.” He put the hot pan on an oven mitt and turned around. “Food’s done. Enjoy.” He rolled his sleeves down and picked up his jacket. 

“You’re leaving?” Rey asked and immediately wondered why she cared. Solo tilted his head as he slipped his jacket back on, bemused apparently. 

“Yes.”

“Oh. Y’know, you could stay and eat, if you’d like?” Rey had no idea where this was coming. She hated having people over for dinner but should most of all hate the idea of her _boss_ who she _lied to_ sitting at her table. Yet the words spilled out of her mouth anyway. “You did make dinner, after all.”

Solo blinked at her and seemed to consider the offer. “No,” he shook his head finally. “I can’t. I just came to drop this off.” He made his way toward the bag and picked it up. “Since you don’t want it I should go.”

Why did he give off a kicked puppy vibe? Rey groaned inwardly and followed him, adjusting little Ben to a more comfortable place in her arms.

“Hey, y’know,” she tugged on the strap of the bag, halting Solo’s progress toward the door. “I can always use more diapers. And I don’t have a nice bag like this.”

He looked down at her hand holding the strap - just below his - and gave her a wary expression. “You’re sure?”

Rey shocked herself and smiled. A small smile. “Yes. I appreciate it. To be honest, I’m surprised you’ve been so…” she struggled to find the right word. “…nice.”

“Why wouldn’t I be nice?” He seemed genuinely confused. 

“Well, you did fire me. And I kind of extorted you…” she grimaced. The baby cooed, wriggling in her arms to reach toward Solo. “Which I have to apologize for again, Mr. Solo.”

“Ben.” The name came out in a blunt, almost harsh, tone that left Rey speechless for a moment.

“He’s not doing anything.” She said defensively, dropping her hold on the bag and hugging the baby closer to her chest. He’d just grabbed on to Solo’s sleeve. No harm done. The baby whined in protest and reached for Solo again. 

Solo’s mouth dropped open and he shook his head. “No. Sorry. Not him. I meant… you can call me Ben. “

“But I thought you said…”

A light flush crawled over his cheeks. “Yeah, I know. But I don’t actually like ‘Mr. Solo’. Ben is fine.”

“Oh.” Rey pressed her lips together. While she thought the 180 was weird, she wasn’t going to argue with him. “Okay. Thanks.”

He dipped his chin in a sharp nod and put the baby bag down at Rey’s feet.

“Have a good night, Miss Niima.”

“Rey.”

“What?”

“You can call me Rey, if you want. Since, y’know.” Rey faltered, unsure why she was okay with breaking down yet another barrier between her and… Ben. Big Ben. “Seems fair.”

“Alright.” He nodded again and cleared his throat. “I should go. Enjoy your… bag. Bye, kid.” He reached forward and let the baby take one of his fingers. The child giggled in delight and Rey smiled, a thing she’d been doing a lot of over him. 

“I think he likes you.” She murmured. Ben grunted and slowly removed his finger from the baby’s hold. 

“Maybe he just knows I brought him more food.”

Rey snorted. “Maybe. He’s smart.”

“Obviously a trait he earned from his mother.” Ben said. It took Rey too long to remember that he was referring to her and when his words hit her she could feel the flames of another blush on her cheeks. She didn’t know how to respond. To her relief she didn’t have to. Ben cleared his throat and stepped closer to the door. “See you at work.”

The door clicked shut behind him but Rey stared at it for awhile longer. Ben Solo was an enigma she couldn’t wrap her mind around. 

“But he’s nice.” She said aloud, looking at little Ben, who was sucking on his fist again. “Huh. He’s nice.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *THROWS CONFETTI*
> 
> HERE'S 6100 WORDS OF FLUFF AND NONSENSE

Two weeks later Rey and little Ben had developed a routine that seemed to be working. He was at an age where he slept through the night pretty well and was starting to eat more than just formula. Not that it wasn’t hard. Rey missed having her free time but at the same time seemed to hate leaving little Ben with anyone else. The one time Finn and Rose had babysat so Rey could have a night off, Rey had texted every ten minutes asking how the baby was. Finn had made fun of her for it. Why was she so concerned about a kid who wasn’t even hers? A child she hadn’t borne herself and hadn’t had in her care for that long?

Rey couldn’t explain. Well, she could, but she didn’t want to go through the emotional implications of it. She had to remind herself this was a temporary thing. The baby couldn’t stay with her. She wasn’t ready for a kid; even with the crash course she’d had in childcare thanks to Maz and necessity, Rey didn’t think she had the fortitude to raise a child. 

But there was a tiny part of her that had begun to waver on her initial resolve to give him up. He’d already been left alone once. Could she really do that to him again? At work Rey broached the subject to Finn, testing to see if she really was insane for considering _thinking_ about keeping little Ben. His response was pretty definitive. 

“Rey, you can’t be serious.” Finn gave her an incredulous look. “He’s not yours.”

“But…” she didn’t know why that hurt. He was right. “But he’s all by himself.” 

_Like me._

“Peanut, you can’t make a lifelong decision based on feeling sorry for the kid. I do, too. But you know better than I do your situation is not what’s best for him.”

I know.” She murmured, defeated. “You’re right.”

Finn gave her a sympathetic look which rankled Rey. She had to remind herself he wanted the best for her and the baby. “Stick with the plan, Rey. Giving him back is better for him in the long run.” 

She wished she could believe that. 

“Are you going to Maz’s on Thanksgiving?”

Rey was thankful for the change in conversation, if confused by the question. “I think so, why?”

Maz had a tradition of hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for the tenants who didn’t have a family to go home to and Rey had been first in line the year before, only a few months into her tenure in the city. Before she’d met Percy. Before she’d met Finn. 

“I was justing wondering if you wanted to come with Rose and I to Paige’s? She wouldn’t mind. Maybe get away from the baby for a bit. Maz could watch him, right?”

The offer was tempting and Rey was so warmed that Finn had thought of her she nearly agreed but imagining leaving little Ben alone - even with Maz - on a holiday rankled her. Even though it was a temporary situation, Rey was still the closest thing to family the poor thing had. And family was supposed to be together on the holidays.

“Thanks,” she said carefully. “But I think I’ll stick around here. Maz always throws a good party.”

Finn gave her a look which Rey chose to ignore. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.”

_No chance of that. _

“I will.” Rey smiled in a way that was supposed to be reassuring but she knew he could see through it. 

Worst case scenario, Rey would just stay home and have a turkey sandwich from the deli in her neighborhood. Jabba’s had a mean turkey sandwich. She didn’t mind being alone on holidays. She was used to it. 

Besides, she wouldn’t be totally alone: she had the baby.

****

“…milk, butter, eggs, apples… what did I forget?” Rey frowned down at the grocery list in her hands, hovering near the dairy section in the grocery store. Little Ben made a noise from his carrier and Rey absently put a hand inside, which he instantly grabbed. “Ah!” She folded the list triumphantly and returned it to her jeans pocket when she found the missing item. “Carrots!” 

Her day off would usually have been spent lazing around on her couch binge watching whatever Netflix show caught her eye and eating buckets of popcorn but she had some other considerations this day. The baby was supposed to be transitioning to solids and Rey had read that making her own baby food would be cheaper and healthier for the child. 

She hadn’t planned on doing extra research but one thing lead to another and fifty blogs later she’d compiled a list of what she thought were the best parenting practices. She’d decided to start with the menu and work her way up to the rest. 

“Good thing Percy left his blender,” she remarked as she pushed the shopping cart forward, guiding it back toward the produce. Little Ben mouthed at his toy giraffe and stared up at Rey from his carrier, perched carefully on the child seat of the cart. He looked like he was questioning who Percy was. “He was a jerk. We’re better off with the blender, trust me.” She stopped the cart to adjust the baby’s tiny knit hat. “There. Don’t want your ears getting cold.” 

The baby smiled at her from around his giraffe and Rey grinned back. He was messy and he was loud and sometimes he woke her up and cried all night but overall she liked the kid. He kept her company and it was nice to feel like she was needed. 

_“Your situation is not what’s best for him.” _

Finn’s words echoed through her mind and Rey’s smile faltered. No, it wasn’t. But it was hard to imagine the baby wasn’t at least a little happy when he was looking up at her with a smile so bright it was blinding. 

She smoothed out the swatch of little Ben’s blonde hair that had escapedhis beanie. “Let’s get home. You need a bath.” She tickled his side, eliciting happy laughter from the baby who had unexpectedly taken her heart. 

But, as her life tended to be anymore, her exit was not simple. When Rey joined a line for check out and reached into her purse for her wallet but couldn’t find it, she was fairly certain she turned into ghost on the spot from the way her entire body went cold. 

“No, no no no. Fucking shit! Don’t say that.” She pointed at the baby. “I’m allowed to say it. Not you. But this is bad.” Rey looked up and realized in dismay they were the next in line. Behind her were three other customers staring at her thanks to her expletive filled outburst. 

“Rey?”

Rey froze, a familiar baritone making itself known behind her. She turned her head slowly and lo and behold there was Ben Solo in all his tall, meticulously dressed glory. His soft, must-be-expensive coat was open to reveal the blue henley he wore beneath it. A stark contrast to the jeans and dirty sweatshirt peaking out from beneath Rey’s ancient coat. Not exactly the most professional she ever looked. It was the first time she’d seen him since he’d visited her apartment. He’d sent her an email not too long ago asking how she was faring but she’d forgotten to reply and now remembered that she had forgotten with a deep flush. 

“Hey,” she gave a weak wave as he made his way over to her. “Mr. Solo.”

“Ben. Is everything okay?” He asked, stopping beside the cart. Rey noticed he carried a bag of avocados in one hand.

“Right. Ben. Um, it’s fine. I just… I must have left my wallet at home. I switched bags today…”

It was so stupid. She should have checked. Double checked. 

“So you don’t have anything with you?”

An even deeper blush settled into Rey’s cheeks so that she was sure looked more purple than red. “No. But it’s fine. I’ll just step out and come back later.” It was a long walk back home but there was nothing else she could do. Rey pulled at the cart to drive it out of line but a large hand gripped the edge of it and stopped her. 

“Wait. I’ll take care of it.”

Rey blinked, not understanding. “Take care of what?”

“The groceries. I’ll pay.”

It still took a second for his offer to sink in but once it did Rey was mortified. “No. No. I can’t let you do that. Absolutely not-”

“Rey.” There was a timbre to his voice - almost like a plea - that made her stop. “Let me help.”

She stared at him, warring inside with her pride, her guilt, and her need for the groceries. The person behind her in line coughed pointedly and Rey was forced to make a decision. 

“Okay.” She choked out. “Thank you. But I’m paying you back as soon as I get home.”

“Fair enough.”

Rey insisted he pay for his item first and her things separately, to ensure she knew the exact price for everything. She hoped she had enough cash at home to pay him back.

Freed from the checkout, they walked toward the exit. Somewhere between the checkout and the door Ben managed to take the cart from her. It must have been when she reached for the receipt to look it over. She wasn’t even aware they’d switched positions until she looked up and saw him waving at the baby. 

“Hey bud.” He leaned over the baby’s carrier, which somehow delighted little Ben because the child screeched out a giggle and reached up. A smile - an actual smile, not the closed mouthed one she saw before - lit up Ben Solo’s face and Rey swore her stomach literally flipped. The grin revealed somewhat crooked teeth and created lines on his face that made him look younger instead of older. In short, he had the most endearing smile she’d ever seen. “He recognizes me!”

Rey’s mouth dropped open. “I-I guess he must.”

He actually seemed excited to see the baby.

“Is he good at remembering people?” Ben asked, waving his fingers at little Ben in a playful way. The baby’s eyes widened as he watched then reached for Ben’s hand with a delighted screech. Rey watched too, a feeling in her gut that had nothing to do with nerves.

“Um. I don’t know. The people who are around him the most he remembers… I’m surprised, honestly he remembers you.” She answered honestly. Little Ben had only interacted Ben Solo twice and very briefly at that. She didn’t think babies had memories that good. “You must have made quite the impression on him.”

Ben snorted. “I usually do.” He said it in a way that made Rey think it was self-deprecating and she frowned. “Just not the right one.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Rey countered and Ben switched his gaze from the baby to her, his dark eyes curious, which made Rey nervous. 

“What was your first impression of me?” he asked. 

“Mine?” Rey thought back to when she met him outside the social services building. And then to when he came over to her apartment. And now. “Actually, you’re a bit puzzling.”

“Am I?” 

“Yes. When we met - after you fired me.” She added, not in a mean spirit but as a reference point. “You did seem… abrasive, I guess. You were different at work. At my home. Now.” 

Ben Solo seemed to consider her a moment. “I thought you were lying.” He stated flatly and Rey stiffened in nothing short of terror. _He knew. _She was right. “But I was wrong. I saw that when I visited you at home.”

Oh.

Rey ducked her head, relief and shame mixing a toxic cocktail in her stomach. “T-that’s good.”

“It’s not good I didn’t believe you. I think that’s why I’ve been so…” he stopped the cart - they were outside now, the sun shining bright but having no effect on the below-freezing air - and ran a hand through his (what looked like) ridiculously soft hair. “I want to make sure I make up for the mistakes the company and I made regarding you.”

“Oh.” More shame filtered its way through Rey. “You don’t need to. I’m fine. We’re fine.” She gestured at the baby. “I don’t blame you for not believing me at first.”

That was as close as she could get to admitting the truth and apologizing for lying to and manipulating him. 

He looked at her with something like wonder, which made Rey’s stomach turn even more. “That’s kind of you.”

“Not kind.” She corrected. “I’m not being kind. I’m being real. Why would you believe it? My story is ridiculous.”

It was. He was right not to believe it. Rey had the urge to come clean right then and there. She might have if she hadn’t looked at the baby. The baby, who was watching them happily from his carrier. If she told the truth she’d get fired. And getting fired meant no money. No money meant little Ben would suffer. 

Another thought, trailing at the back of her mind, was that if she got fired she’d have to give little Ben up sooner than she’d planned. 

She couldn’t do that.

“It’s not ridiculous,” he replied. “Just,” his jaw worked, “somewhat improbable.”

The truth was even more improbable. “No kidding.” She said, without irony. A smile passed between them and Rey stopped breathing for a few seconds. Seeing him smile was one thing, him smiling _at _her was another. 

_You really do have a nice smile._

He said something and it took a moment for Rey to refocus and hear him. 

“Sorry, what?” she asked, probably appearing excessively stupid. 

“Where’s your car?”

“Oh. I don’t have one.”

The way Ben gawked at her almost made Rey laugh. “How did you get here?”

“I walked.” 

“You _walked_?”

Rey shrugged. “We took a bus then walked the rest of the way.” That was how she got around. By bus or foot. What was he not understanding?

“Rey.” He said it like an admonishment and Rey scowled. This was her life. He didn’t have the right to be critical. “Your apartment is nowhere near here. Don’t you have a store closer to you?”

“Well, there is. But it’s a tiny bodega and doesn’t have what I need for Ben.” She gestured at the baby. Ben was still staring at her when she brought her attention back to him. “What?”

“I’m going to take you home.”

“What?” Rey exclaimed. “No.” She shook her head. Paying for groceries was one thing, this was… this was too much. “I can’t let you… you just paid for my… No.”

Ben gestured out toward the parking lot. “It’s freezing. There’s snow everywhere. You were planning on walking home with a baby in this? It’s negligent!”

_Negligent?_

Rage formed an ugly scowl on Rey’s face. “I don’t have much of a choice.” She snapped. “I’m sorry I can’t afford a car-” she reached into the cart and yanked the grocery bags out “-or even an Uber. Maybe it’s news to you but some people have to use the bus or walk to places because they’re not rich, entitled dicks!” 

Ladened with the bags, she next reached for the baby’s carrier in her final act of defiance but was thwarted when Ben’s hand shot out and landed on her wrist. Rey eyed him dangerously and he removed his hand, raising both of them in surrender.

“Okay, okay, wait.” He took a breath. “I’m sorry. That was-”

“Insensitive, rude, discriminatory, cruel?” Rey threw out each word mercilessly and was satisfied when her target winced and nodded. 

“Yeah. But you have to admit that I’m right about one thing. It’s too cold for either of you to be out. They’re calling for it to be twenty below tonight and it’s getting dark.”

As if to prove his point, the wind picked up and slapped Rey with a sting that promised the walk home would definitely be miserable if not dangerous. She chewed at her chapped bottom lip. He was right, damn it. If she had been alone she wouldn’t have cared, but with little Ben… Rey looked at the baby - whose tiny nose was already red from the cold - and immediately released her pride. 

“We’ll take that ride. Thank you.” She murmured, shoulders slumping in defeat. In a move more gentle than she had expected, Ben Solo reached forward and took the grocery bags from her. 

“Follow me.”

Picking up the baby carrier with a sigh, Rey fell behind Ben and followed him to his car, which was a brand new black Audi with with a red and black interior. 

“Nice car.” She quipped and couldn’t help adding: “Bit ostentatious for a trip to the store just for some avocados, don’t you think?”

He started the car with his keys and opened the trunk to put away the groceries before giving her a pointed look. “You’re right. I should have taken my motorcycle. Much less of an imprint. Does that thing double as a car seat?” He asked, gesturing to the baby’s carrier. Rey nodded. 

“I think so. It’s the one social services gave me.”

Ben grunted and opened one of the back car doors for her before returning to the trunk to close it. “Go ahead.”

Rey stared at the open door. “Go ahead and what?”

“Put it in.” He pointed inside. Rey realized he thought she knew how the damn carrier worked. Which she didn’t. All she knew was that the car seat was attached - because she hadn’t bothered to remove it. Because she didn’t know how. 

Which was why she’d been getting strange looks from parents in the store. 

“Um, okay.” She stepped up to the car and considered the leather covered back seat and the carrier. It was getting colder by the second and the baby needed to be inside soon. There were a couple of latches she could see on the car seat attachment which looked like they went into the seatbelt fasteners. She leaned into the car and positioned the carrier but it wouldn’t quite fit right so that she could attach it. “What is wrong with this thing?” she muttered. Her shaking fingers snagged against a sharper piece of plastic and she yelped, startling the baby into tears. 

“Are you okay?” 

Rey sucked at her injured finger. “I’m fine. Just… fine.” 

A heavy presence blocked out the wind behind her and Rey twisted her head over her shoulder to see that Ben Solo had leaned halfway into the car, a deep frown on his face. 

“What happened?”

“I don’t know how to put this thing in!” She admitted, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “And now he’s crying and it’s cold and you’re right! I don’t know how to be a mom! Shhh, Ben. It’s okay, baby.”

Enough tears dropped onto Ben’s leather seats as Rey tried to calm down little Ben that she was certain that it was going to stain or whatever happened to leather when it came into contact with salty water. 

_How much is it going to cost me to fix that?_

A light pressure manifested on her middle back. It took her a full five seconds to realize it was Ben’s hand. 

“It’s okay.” He was saying, deep voice attempting to be soothing even though Rey could tell he was thrown by her breakdown. “Let me try. Come on. Get in the car and warm up.” 

Rey wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I can do it…”

“Will you just let someone help you?” He half-exclaimed, obviously exasperated. “Just let me help without arguing about it?”

That was a more difficult thing to ask than he could possibly imagine. 

Letting people help wasn’t really Rey’s forte. She’d been forced to do some of that because of the baby, but even that had been limited to Maz teaching her how to change diapers, make formula, and babysitting while Rey was at work. Rey had gotten used to stumbling around and figuring life out on her own. She’d had to. It was that or fail.

And now, despite trying her hardest, she was failing. Even worse, failing someone who depended on her, who needed her. Finn was right. Why had she ever thought she could keep little Ben?

“Rey.” Ben’s hand moved further up her back to her shoulder. “Let me help.”

She took a deep breath. Strangely, instead of annoying her, his hand on her shoulder calmed the swell threatening to overwhelm her. “Okay.” 

After that she clambered into the car and sat down opposite the baby to let Ben lean inside. Together they figured out how to work the car seat and, much to Rey’s relief, the baby calmed down almost as soon as both she and Ben surrounded him. She couldn’t explain it except that maybe he felt safe like that. 

There was a moment, while they were figuring out how the latches worked, that Ben leaned over to explain how he’d done it to Rey. Frustrated because she couldn’t understand what he was saying, Rey threw up her hands and turned her head to tell him so but she hadn’t realized how close he’d gotten. His face had drawn so near that when she raised her head her nose bumped his. 

Rey froze. Out of surprise, awkwardness, or something else entirely she wasn’t sure. The thing was, instead of rearing back like she expected him to, he went still as well. He only stared at her in a way that had her locked on him. Like the world disappeared around them. She focused on his eyes. She knew they were brown. But like this - closer than she ever thought she’d be to him - she could tell they weren’t just brown. They were deeper. Layered in different shades that made it impossible to stop staring and figure out how many there were. And there was an ancientness to them somehow. She didn’t quite understand it but she didn’t want to look away.

The moment was broken when little Ben dropped his giraffe and screeched in protest. Rey released a shaky breath. She’d stopped breathing entirely. Ben pulled back, retreating to a safe distance. He talked her through the latching process. 

Once the baby was secured, Rey settled herself into the seat beside him and Ben moved to the front of the car. A twenty minute drive later - filled with some small talk but for the most part it was Rey tending to the baby and collecting herself - they were climbing the stair’s to Rey’s apartment. Rey was carrying the baby and Ben had managed to wrangle all of the groceries in one go. 

_He’s got tree branches for arms so of course he can do that. _Rey thought wryly, watching him from behind as they scaled the stairs. He didn’t even seem to break a sweat, despite going up two floors (the damn elevator had been broken for months) and carrying five grocery bags. 

He stopped in front of her apartment and waited for Rey, who was trying to pull her keys out from her bag without dropping the baby. After some contorting she managed to grasp them and breathed a sigh of relief when she finally opened the door to her apartment. 

Ben was silent as he walked in and moved toward the kitchen. Rey heard him deposit the groceries on the counter with a dull clatter. She put the carrier on the couch to remove her coat then unsnapped the clasps keeping the baby in place. Before lifting him out she removed his hat and his coat.

“Come on, baby,” she murmured, clutching him to her chest. “I'm sorry about the car seat drama.” 

The poor thing grasped at her neck and Rey sighed, deciding to take a moment to breathe. She sat on the couch and leaned back, hugging the baby close, rubbing his back to soothe him as well as to center herself. The day had not gone as she’d planned. 

A simple shopping trip. That’s all. Turned into a disaster. 

A clearing throat pulled Rey’s attention up. Ben was standing near the couch, shifting his feet. 

“I was going to put things away but… I don’t know where to put anything.” 

It was cute the way he looked apologetic, almost nervous. Rey stood up carefully, not wanting to jostle the baby too much. 

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve done so much already. Oh,” she gasped. “I have to pay you. Let me get my-”

“I don’t need it now. Besides, you kind of have your hands full.” He looked at the baby. “Is he okay?” 

As if to answer the question, the baby stirred and cooed and Rey smiled. “Yeah. He’s fine. Drooling happily.”

A laugh erupted from Ben’s chest which Rey felt deep in her own. “I’ll bet that makes you go through a lot of laundry detergent.”

“You have no idea.” Rey replied with a shake of her head. She went through more detergent pods in a week with the kid than she’d ever gone through in a whole month on her own. “Speaking of, I should go put it away.” 

“No.” Ben put his hands up to stop her. “I can do it. I just need some direction.”

“Mr. So- Ben. You don’t need to!” Rey was frustrated with the whole thing. Why did he insist on helping her? “I don’t need your help.”

“Like you didn’t need a ride today?” He countered. Rey scrunched up her nose instead of answering which he must have taken as a victory. “So I’ll just stay a little longer and help you put things away. What’s the harm?” He took off his expensive coat and tossed it onto the nearest armchair. 

“Don’t you have a company to run?” She asked petulantly, following him back into the kitchen because what else could she do? He was apparently determined to help her regardless of her feelings about it. Which might have been endearing had it not be annoying and mildly controlling. Typical. 

Ben shrugged as he pulled food items out of one of the grocery bags. “It’s my day off anyway. Where do you keep your dry pasta?”

“Cupboard above the microwave. So, what’s today then? Complete charitable works for your next Boy Scout patch?”

It was rude and ungrateful but Rey was tired and confused. No one could be that nice. No one. Ben paused putting the pasta away and gave her a glare. 

“You really hate it when people help you, don’t you?”

Rey looked away and chewed at her bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I’m- I’m not used to being… I don’t know. Taken care of? Being helped? I’m not some damsel in distress who needs a hand every other minute. I can do things on my own.”

He tilted his head. “I never said you couldn’t.”

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Rey tried to find the right the words without being too open. He didn’t need to know all her dirty laundry. “It’s nothing you did. It’s… it’s other stuff.”

_Stuff. Good dodge._

Ben considered her a moment before slowly nodding his head. “I understand. And maybe I’ve overstepped but…” his jaw worked, as if he was struggling. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay. It’s my fault you almost gave up your son. I needed to make it right.”

“You’ve already done that.” Rey murmured, guilt again suffusing her every pore. “You’ve done more than I ever expected my boss to do. You’ve been really kind.”

A wry smile appeared on his face, sending nothing short of butterflies through Rey’s gut. That damn smile. “Don’t let the board of directors know. They expect me to be cutthroat.”

Rey broke and laughed. “I won’t tell.” Two beats later she cleared her throat. “If you really insist on helping me, then I guess you can put the groceries away while I put little Ben down.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that. ‘Little’ Ben?”

“Oh,” Rey faltered. She had developed the habit to differentiate the two of them in her own head but hadn’t actually expected to have the ‘big’ Ben in the same room when she said it. “I, uh, it’s a nickname. Because he’s little and his name is Ben.”

“Right.” Ben released the frown. “That makes sense.”

“Yeah. I’m going to give him a bath now.” She rushed out of the kitchen. 

Fifteen minutes later she had bathed the baby - he’d actually cooperated that day and not splashed around and half-drowned her - and put him in his comfiest footie pajamas. She fully expected Ben to be gone but when she stepped out of the bathroom with little Ben, she found him standing in her living room staring at a picture of Rey with Finn and Rose. 

“Hey,” she said and he turned around. 

“Hey. I got everything put away. I think it’s all in the right places. Finn, right?” he pointed at the picture. “You said he was your friend?”

“Yeah. That’s his girlfriend, Rose.” Rey supplied, moving closer. It was her favorite picture: when they’d gone to see The Knights of Ren in concert during the summer. 

“You seem close.”

“I’d like to think so. Um, I need to go put him down,” she said. “I’d, um,” she didn’t know why but she blushed, “do you want coffee or something? Just as a thank you for today?”

The offer seemed to throw him and Rey almost took it back but he nodded before she could. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

When she got to her bedroom she looked down at little Ben and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Alright, baby. Time to go to sleep.” She edged toward the crib but the baby seemed to wake up the closer she got. He made a demanding noise and Rey groaned. “I can’t sing right now,” she whispered. “We’ve got a guest!” 

Little Ben only looked up at her expectantly, as if to say he didn’t care what extenuating circumstances Rey might have he needed his song or else he wouldn’t sleep.

“Oh, fine.” Rey rolled her eyes and blew out a breath before beginning. “_Tommy used to work on the docks, union’s been on strike, he’s down on his luck it’s tough, so tough…_”

She tried to sing in a quiet voice to avoid being heard, especially when she reached the chorus. 

“_Woah, we’re halfway there. Woah, livin’ on a prayer. Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear. Woah, livin’ on a prayer…_”

But apparently she wasn’t quiet enough. She’d been strolling around the room as she sang, holding little Ben close, and when she swiveled to take another turn, she saw Ben Solo leaning in the doorway to her bedroom, his hands in the pockets. The rest of the song died on her lips. He straightened up when she caught him. 

“Don’t stop.” He whispered. “I’m sorry. I heard you and… You have a nice voice.”

Crimson. She must have been absolutely crimson. “T-thanks. I know it’s a weird lullaby, but he won’t sleep unless I sing it. But he’s… he’s not cooperating tonight.” She looked at the baby, unable to keep eye contact with Ben’s penetrating gaze. 

Heavy footsteps moved across the room until she felt his presence beside her, his shadow falling across little Ben. Rey’s eyes darted up and she swallowed. It hit her at that moment, void of major distractions, that he smelled really good. Whatever cologne he was using smelled expensive but was worth it. 

The baby was fascinated by the man as well, his eyes going wide as Ben drew closer. Rey watched the baby’s mouth go from an ‘o’ shape to a broad smile when he realized who was there. How the hell did he know and why did Ben Solo make him smile like that?

“You should be asleep by now, bud,” Ben told him, wiggling his forefinger at him which the baby instantly tried to grasp. Rey glared at the baby, feeling a tiny bit betrayed. 

“I think he wants you to sing to him.” She said, deciding to test Ben’s limits of helpfulness. Rey lifted the baby up toward her guest, who looked like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. 

“I don’t think…”

“You can hold him. I trust you.” Rey encouraged. “He wants you to.” 

Indeed, the baby reached for Ben and giggled like Rey had read his mind.

“Ah, okay. Like this?” He folded his arms in preparation to receive the baby and Rey nodded before gently depositing little Ben into the bigger Ben’s arms. Rey stepped back and surveyed the scene. Which was a bad idea because seeing the giant Ben Solo holding a tiny baby in his arms, looking at that baby like it was the most fragile, wonderful thing in the world, sent a whole swarm of butterflies through her stomach. Amongst the flurry, a thought coalesced which had been slowly building since they’d bumped noses. 

_Oh no. He’s hot._

And very much her boss. 

Rey was still reeling from the epiphany when Ben started to sing. A sound that sent warmth throughout her entire body. 

“_We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got. It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not. We’ve got each other and that’s a lot for love. We’ll give it a shot._”

Unable to tear her eyes away, Rey watched as he sang in a gentle, near-hoarse tone that could have been terrible but really wasn’t and her heart did a flip. The baby was enthralled, watching Ben with wide eyes that slowly, slowly drifted closed. 

“I think he’s asleep,” Ben whispered, looking at Rey for direction. It was the first time in minutes he’d looked at her. Rey had the feeling he’d taken the responsibility of getting the baby to sleep more seriously than she’d thought he would. 

“Okay. Lay him in the crib.” She whispered in return, gliding across the floor to oversee the action. More and more she’d been developing the habit of doing that: checking to make sure other people were handling little Ben right. Even Maz. 

In a motion more smooth than she expected a man of Ben’s size to accomplish, he laid little Ben down in the crib without managing to wake him. Pretty good for a first try. Rey breathed a sigh of relief and gestured for Ben to follow her out of the room. 

She didn’t speak again until they reached the living room. 

“You did really well,” she said, folding her hands together tightly. “He likes you.”

Ben smiled. “Or I have a really boring voice.”

“It’s not boring.” Rey replied, a little too quickly for it be a polite rebuttal. She blushed. “I mean, you have a nice voice. Really.”

This time when he smiled his eyes wrinkled up too, doing Rey no favors. “Thanks. I guess I should get going now. Before my car freezes to the asphalt.”

Rey chuckled. Laughter was coming easier to her around him. “Yeah. Oh, wait! I promised you coffee! And I need to write you a check for today…” She looked around for a pen. 

“Don’t worry about that right now.” Ben insisted. “You can get it to me at work. And I’ll take a raincheck on the coffee.”

“Oh, um, alright. Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Ben said as he picked up his coat from the chair he’d thrown it on. Rey followed him to the door and opened it for him. But he didn’t leave right away. “Rey.”

The way he said her name made her heart race. 

“Let me know the next time you need to go shopping across town. Or the kid needs a concert.”

Rey snorted. “Yeah, will do.”

“I’m serious. If any of your friends can’t help, I will.” The earnestness in his expression surprised her. 

“You really mean it,” she wondered. 

“Of course I do.” 

Rey stared up at him and he met her gaze unflinchingly. “Okay.” She heard herself say, as if her soul had left her body. 

Satisfied, Ben slipped on his coat and left. 

Rey slumped against the door once he was gone, slid down to the floor, stared into space and wondered if any of the events of that afternoon had been real. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're getting a shot of Ben's POV in this one. And someone gets a shock at the end. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! IT'S WORLD PREMIERE TODAY!!! 
> 
> Here's a new chapter to celebrate!! Not as long as the others, but we're moving plot along! Yes, there is plot and not just fluff! But still fluff! Enjoy!!!

Ben minimized the report on his computer and sat back on his plush leather office chair to rub at his tired eyes. He’d forgotten his reading glasses at home and the bright screen of his device had taken its toll. 

The report was good at least. Numbers were up. The board was happy. The year was going to end on a high note. 

He opened his eyes to survey the office. Sleek, decorated sparsely with a few knick-knacks but those didn’t matter. He’d made sure to highlight the various business awards he’d earned but not too obviously. He’d placed them on a shelf behind his desk, scattering them among with books he’d read and reread and annotated. 

One of the reasons he needed reading glasses. 

He turned his chair and reached for his favorite, _Crime and Punishment_, to reread one of the more interesting passages as a break from work, but was interrupted by the door to his office opening. 

“Benny!”

Sighing, Ben turned his chair again to face the newcomer. 

“What is it, Poe?”

“Food. I figured your workaholic ass forgot to eat breakfast.” Poe Dameron, the media representative for Skywalker Inc.’s publishing department, strode into Ben’s office with a flourish. He eyed Ben’s open tablet. “Where’re your glasses?”

Ben glared at the intruder. “I left them at home.”

“I’m going to tell your mother.” 

“No, you’re not.”

“Maybe. Come on, I’m hungry.” Poe jerked his head toward the door. 

Ben made to get up but as he was the door to his office opened once again to produce the imposing figure of Gwen Phasma, head of security. 

“Finance contacted me about some strange purchases on your company credit card.” She said, approaching Ben’s desk without greeting and pointedly ignoring Poe. She put a tablet down in front of Ben that displayed a two-hundred dollar purchase that definitely shouldn’t have been on there. “Asked me to look into it. Know anything about this?”

“Oh.” Ben groaned. “I must have used the wrong card.” Of course he did. He’d been a little distracted 

Poe lifted his chin to appraise the record and raised a brow. “What were planning? A party? Is it for my birthday? Benny! You shouldn’t have!”

“Shut up.” Ben snapped. “I know what it is. Tell finance to reimburse it from my next paycheck.”

“Yes, sir.” Phasma nodded and took the tablet back. Poe waved at her as she passed him on her way out and she responded with a disdainful glance. He shivered once she was gone. 

“Don’t ever leave me alone with her. I’m pretty sure she wants to kill me.”

Ben grunted as he rounded his desk. “I wouldn’t put it past her.” He went to the office’s closet, which was disguised as a wall panel with only a tine button to open it, and removed his coat. “Come on.”

“Wait a minute.” Poe put a hand up as he joined Ben at the door. “What was that charge anyway? Two hundred dollars for groceries? You eat cheap cereal on the regular. What cost you two hundred dollars?”

Ben winced. He debated coming up with some kind of excuse but decided that he didn’t have anything to lie about. He’d just been helping Rey. Good Samaritan kind of deal. Nothing at all to do with her gentle eyes and headstrong personality that created such delicious contradiction he couldn’t resist learning more about her.

_Definitely don’t say that to Poe. _

“You remember that woman I told you about? The one who had a kid?”

Poe nodded. “The one you said was probably lying but you gave her her job back anyway because you didn’t want your mother finding out in case it was true and you really had fired a single mother and nearly forced her to give up her baby near the holidays? That one?”

Ben fixed a deadly glare on his friend. “Yeah. That one. Let’s just say I don’t think she’s lying anymore. I paid for her groceries.”

“And why did you do that?” Ben’s friend/colleague’s face scrunched up in confusion beneath the magnificent beard he’d grown throughout November which Ben doubted he’d shave. 

“Because she’d forgotten her wallet.” 

“So you just offered to pay a personal bill with company money? Wait, Ben. Is the baby yours?” 

“No!” Ben exclaimed. When his friend grinned like the Cheshire Cat Ben rolled his eyes. “Fuck you. I mixed up the credit cards.” 

Poe nodded. “Hey, you were doing something nice for once in your life. Can’t expect to get it right the first time.”

Irritated and a mite defensive, Ben haughtily told Poe that paying for Rey’s groceries wasn’t the first nice thing he’d done. 

“I got her a baby bag, too.” 

Stepping back, Poe crossed his arms over his chest. “I would have _loved _to see you walk into a store and buy a baby bag but why the hell did you?”

Not wanting to explain the feelings that had caused his heart to somersault in his chest when he’d watched her sing to her baby, Ben shrugged. 

“I don’t need her complaining to HR.”

Penetrating brown eyes narrowed on Ben’s face, causing him to recoil. 

“What?”

“You’re not scared of HR, Ben. You don’t need to keep helping this woman beyond rehiring her. You’ve done your duty. Unless,” a sly expression rolled across Poe’s face that Ben did not like, “you have some other reason.” His countenance changed swiftly from playful to serious. “The kid isn’t really yours, is he? I mean, I was kidding before but now…”

The baby was definitely _not_ his, but Poe’s remarks hit a little too close to home. But Ben refused to give the other man the satisfaction of being right. Especially when he wasn’t sure exactly what to do the new feelings he was experiencing about the pretty single mother. 

“Stop it, Poe. There is no other reason besides me needing to make sure Niima doesn’t go to a higher up and complain.” Ben snapped angrily. He shoved his coat on and yanked his office door open. “Now let's go before I throw you out the window.”

****

Ben had meant to go straight back to his office after eating. He really had. His finger must have slipped. It wasn’t his fault he’d ended up on the same floor Rey Niima worked.

Well, as long as he was on the fifteenth floor, he might as well ask how she was doing. He was the boss, after all. He could do that. 

What he expected to see was the charming, bashful smile grace him as he walked up to the administrative desk. But as Ben approached he was met with a completely different scene. Thankfully not like the one he’d had to break up a couple weeks ago. Yet there was the all-too familiar stress scowl on Rey’s face as she talked with the shortest woman he’d ever seen wearing giant glasses and an outlandish coat and hat. She was holding the baby.

“I’m sorry, dear, but I do have to go!” The short woman pushed little Ben toward Rey, who scooped him up instantly. 

“Maz! I can’t have him here!”

But the shorter woman was already halfway to the elevators, waddling passed Ben so quick he had to jump to avoid being bowled over. 

As he watched her go, the tiny woman glanced over her shoulder and _winked_ at him. 

_What the hell?_

Before he could say anything she was gone, the elevator doors already closed. 

Ben stood baffled for a moment but when he heard little Ben screech, he shook himself out of it and returned his attention to Rey, who was staring at him with wide eyes, clutching the baby as if he was her anchor. She looked worried. Ben didn’t like that. In fact, he hated it. Inside him was an uncontrollable urge to ease her distress which didn’t have a damn thing to do with being her boss. “What’s going on?” He asked, striding over to stand beside her. 

The way she raised her eyes, as if she were startled even though she’d watched him walk over, caused him to put a hand on her arm. 

“Tell me.” He urged. 

“Maz,” she swallowed. “That is, my babysitter, had a personal emergency and she can’t watch little Ben.” Rey closed her eyes and kissed the baby’s head when he whined. Ben got the impression the baby had sensed her distress. 

“There’s no one else who can watch him?”

“No. Everyone I know works away from home. I’m sorry, I know it’s inappropriate but-” 

“Rey.” Ben spoke quietly but assertively. She slowly drew her eyes toward his and he noticed a red blush creeping its way across her face. “It’s alright if he’s here.”

Her eyes darted to the baby and back to him. “I can have him here at the desk?”

“He can go to the executive daycare.” Ben didn’t hesitate to offer. “He’ll be well taken care of there. And you can check on him whenever you like.”

Rey looked like she was struggling with the idea of accepting his suggestion. Ben forced himself to be patient. She’d already told him there were underlying reasons why she distrusted everyone. Maybe one day he’d know, maybe he wouldn’t. But he would do his best to show her that she could trust him.

“The executive daycare?” She repeated dubiously. “Is that allowed?”

“It’s allowed because I say it’s allowed.” He stated, developing a deep frown. An elegant brow raised itself in surprise and he pursed his mouth. “I mean that you’ll be fine. I’ll go with you in case there’s a problem.”

Still she hesitated. Ben noticed a few of her co-workers glancing in their direction, the small huddle catching their curious eyes. Hux in particular. That was the last straw. Ben had never liked Hux. He did his job well but the man himself was a nasty piece of work. And with the way he was watching Rey, Ben’s dislike grew exponentially. 

He picked up the baby’s bag - the one he’d given, he noted with satisfaction - from where Maz had left it, slinging it onto his shoulder, and reached for the baby’s stroller which sat next to it. 

“C’mon,” he said. “We’re going.”

“Wait a second!” 

But he didn’t wait. He charged toward the elevators with her things in tow. As he reached them, one of the elevators opened to reveal the startled face of Finn, Rey’s friend, who jumped out as Ben strode in without waiting for Finn to exit. 

“Stormman.” Ben greeted. 

Finn gawked at him from outside. 

“Ben! You can’t just - hey, Finn - run away with my things!” Rey rushed into the elevator with little Ben and set a glare on Ben, who was far too delighted with how the baby smiled at him to care that he upset the mother. At least, not at first. From the corner of his eye he saw Finn staring at them until the elevator doors closed.

After pressing the button for the 5th floor, Ben raised his free hand and waved at little Ben. 

“How’re you, bud? Busy day for you, huh?”

“You’re just ignoring me now?”

Ben’s gaze drifted to Rey’s face, which was fixed into a glare he was sure had meant to be intimidating but was actually adorable. “I didn’t run away. I walked.”

“I didn’t even agree to going down there!” Rey protested, shifting the baby to her other hip. The little one grabbed hold of the simple necklace around Rey’s throat and tugged at it. Ben watched Rey gently pull it out of his tiny grip and reach for the baby bag. She had to step closer to do it and nearly bumped her head against Ben’s chin as she unzipped one of the pockets on the bag and rummaged around inside it. He didn’t mind. “Where is it,” she breathed. 

“What are you looking for?” He asked, lowering his chin to watch her. 

“His giraffe.”

“Oh. Maybe it’s in this one.” He reached for a bigger pocket at the same time she did and his palm slid over the back of her hand. For a brief moment - too brief - their hands stayed in contact. When Rey pulled hers back Ben felt bereft, as if the two seconds of physical contact had somehow meant more than an accidental touch.

“Can you, uh… you get it?” Rey asked. Ben had to be imagining the way she refused to look at him or the blush that bloomed on her cheeks. 

He cleared his throat. “Sure, sure. Here.” The giraffe had been just inside the pocket. Rey plucked it carefully from his hand, to avoid, he thought, touching him again. He wasn’t going to lie to himself. That kinda hurt. 

“Thank you,” Rey murmured and lifted her head finally to give him a small smile. A smile that made his heart flutter and wash away the wound. “Not just for the giraffe. For this.” She gestured around the elevator. “For letting Ben go to daycare. I’m sorry was being so stubborn about it. Again. I really am grateful for the help. I just… I just hate being in that position. I don’t want to be a burden. I’ve been a burden my entire life and-”

She stopped. The words had come out in a rush and she looked a little shell-shocked. Ben had the suspicion she hadn’t meant to say so much. 

“I’m sorry.” She gasped. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

The look she gave him was dubious but if she knew… 

Maybe one day he’d tell her his secrets. 

One day.

* * *

When Rey’s lunch break arrived she clocked out faster than she ever had in her life and went straight to the 5th floor to scoop up little Ben. The ladies running the place were kind, kinder than Rey had expected them to be when they’d basically been ordered to supervise a child not enrolled in their care. 

For the first time since that disastrous first meeting, Rey saw the harder side of Ben. He hadn’t needed to be but he, like Rey, must have been expecting more resistance from the daycare than they got. It was strange seeing him put on the mask of the executive Benjamin Solo. She realized she’d gotten so used to the softer side of him she’d forgotten he was her boss.

But when he spoke to Rey he returned to being just Ben. Comforted her when she’d confessed to anxiety leaving little Ben with strangers. He’d put his hand on her back again as he’d guided her back to the elevators, telling her she could call the daycare whenever she wanted. Maybe she’d unconsciously leaned into him. Maybe it wasn’t so unconscious.

“We touched hands, too, when we were looking for your giraffe,” she murmured, glancing down at little Ben where he lay in his stroller. “For like a second. But… I liked that, too.” She sighed. The baby cooed and mouthed at his giraffe. “Yeah. I know. Me and him. No chance there.”

“No chance where?”

_How the hell?_

“Ben!” Rey twisted around and saw the man in question striding toward her from the lobby elevators. She’d been on her way out to pick up a sandwich at the nearest deli and spend quality time with the baby. It must have been Ben’s lunch hour, too. “Nothing. Um, off to lunch?”

She wondered that she kept bumping into him. Like the fates were shoving them together. 

_Don’t be stupid._ She chided herself. _That’s not happening. _

“Yeah. How’s Ben?” He asked, stopping beside her. Rey’s heart did one of its now-regular tricks when he leaned down to let little Ben grab one of his giant fingers. “Does he like the daycare?”

Rey was too focused on how good he smelled (_did he put on another dose of cologne?_) to answer right away. When he cocked his head expectantly, she forced herself to focus. 

“He does. I think. They’re very kind. Everyone has been so kind,” she faltered, guilty feelings filling her gut. “Especially you.” 

Ben straightened and peered down at her with a gentleness in his gaze that took her breath away. His plush mouth opened and Rey’s eyes flicked down, watching intently as he spoke. 

“Do you mind if I go with you?”

Successfully startled from her weird hyper-fixation on his mouth, Rey regarded him with surprise. “Huh?”

“To lunch.”

“Oh.” Rey’s hands tightened around the stroller’s handle. A full lunch? He really wanted to spend that time with her? Despite her nearly impossible-to-resist desire to say yes, Rey’s instinct was to dissuade him, because why would he want to spend his lunch with her? “I mean, I don’t eat any place fancy. You probably wouldn’t like it.”

Ben shoved his hands in his coat pockets and shrugged. “Try me.”

“Okay.” She bit into her bottom lip. “The diner a block down. That’s where I go everyday.”

“Well, I’ve never eaten there,” he said. “I don’t mind trying a new place.” He added with a grin that made Rey’s knees weak. 

“Okay.” She took a breath. They were really doing this. Whatever it was. “If you’d like.”

The next thing she knew he’d taken charge of the stroller and they were walking side by side down the sidewalk toward the diner. It was positively domestic. 

_I like this._

_I like this a lot. _

* * *

From a black town car parked outside Skywalker Inc., Ben Solo was watched by a pair of eyes very much like his own set into a weathered but still beautiful face. 

The girl beside him was laughing, the woman noted, her cheeks pink and definitely not just from the cold. Ben was smiling and _pushing a stroller_. They’d exited the building together, walking in tandem as they’d choreographed their departure.

“Mrs. Solo?”

“Yes, Artoo?”

“Do you want me to catch him?”

Ah, yes. Because Ben had promised to lunch with her today. 

“No.” Leia Organa-Solo leaned back in her seat, eyes still on the figures of her son and the pretty girl who looked up at him in way that could only be described as adoring. “It’s alright. I think we’ll just drop in on Amilyn.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

As the car rolled down the street away from Skywalker Inc., Leia’s eyes looked unseeingly out the window as she considered what she’d witnessed. It had been a few months since the last time she’d seen her son, due to an unfortunate demand for Leia’s presence at the European headquarters. In addition her son was notoriously silent on his life, rarely volunteering information relevant to a mother’s interest. A lapse on her part. She hadn’t exactly been the most present in his childhood, when he’d needed her most. 

Today’s lunch was their monthly ritual to heal those wounds.

But Leia didn’t mind missing it. Not after seeing him with the girl and the stroller. There was something about it. A suspicion popped into her mind that would not disappear and grew stronger with each moment.

“Surely he would tell me that…” she muttered. Artoo’s grey eyes peered at her in the rearview mirror. 

“What was that, Mrs. Solo?”

A hard expression passed over her face. “Oh, nothing. Just my son possibly not telling me the most important thing of my life.”

_That I’m a grandmother!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, I have NOT, repeat, NOT edited this! But I wanted to get it up before tomorrow because I'm going to see TROS tomorrow and i have no idea what my mood will be so here ya go! Will probably edit at a later date. Hopefully it's not too egregious.

This time when Ben used the elevator to get to the 15th floor he was doing it with an official purpose and not just because he wanted to see a certain hazel-eyed administrative assistant. Seeing her was a plus. Especially as it had been a full twenty-four hours since their impromptu lunch date.

The diner’s food had been mediocre but the time with Rey and little Ben had been amazing. At first she’d seemed nervous but as they talked she grew more comfortable. They didn't discuss anything too in depth about each other, but there was enough for Ben to clue in that she’d had a rough childhood and had been forced to fight for everything she’d gained. 

He was grateful to know that much. But he wanted more. If she’d let him have more. Somehow he didn’t think he’d ever get enough. 

Ben had grown fond of little Ben, too. The baby tugged on something deep inside him, a desire he’d never know he had until the tiny human had grasped onto his finger the first time. Ben had sworn off kids a long time ago. His parent’s marriage had shown him the worst of the institution and he wasn’t going to bring that kind of thing down on his own kid. But little Ben was breaking down that barrier. With lots of help from his mother. 

So it was with an almost literal spring in his step that he exited the elevators on Rey’s floor. There was movement on the promotion front and he was excited to tell her about it. She’d be happy, too, and that was something he loved to see: a smile on that beautiful, freckled face instead of what seemed to be permanent worry lines between her brows. Whenever he saw them he had the near irresistible urge to smooth them out with a kiss. 

But when he arrived at Rey’s desk she was nowhere to be seen and there was a blonde woman sitting in the admin chair instead. 

“Who are you?” Ben demanded, making the poor girl jump. His tone was harsher than he’d meant it to be and he was sure the scowl he had on his face didn’t help. But he wasn’t in the mood to hide his displeasure Rey was gone.

“K-Kaydel. Kaydel Connix.”

“Where’s Re- Miss Niima?”

The Connix girl frowned. “She called in sick today. I’m covering for her.”

His scowl deepened. “She’s sick?”

“I think it was something to do with her baby, actually.”

“Little Ben?” Alarms went off in Ben’s head. Kaydel gave him an odd look but he didn’t care. He was already striding back toward the elevators to get his coat and keys from his office. 

****

He wasn’t back in his office two seconds before Poe made his usual unannounced appearance.

  
  
“Ben, I need your- where are you going?” Poe frowned. 

“Something’s wrong with the baby.” Ben was already halfway into his coat. “I’m going to check on them.”

Poe choked. “The baby? What baby?”

Ben didn’t have time for this. “Rey’s baby. I have to go.”

“Whoa, man.” Poe put himself between Ben and the door, not a good position to be in considering Ben’s mood. “Look, I get you wanting to be nice. She’s a pretty girl and you feel guilty, but this is going a bit far, don’t you think? You’re not the kid’s father.”

For some reason the blunt reminder stung. But Ben was not to be cowed. “Duly noted. Bye.”

Utter disbelief on his face, Poe stood aside and Ben strode out of his office. 

* * *

“What the fuck?” Poe kept repeating the three words to himself as he watched Ben’s massive, idiotic figure disappear around the hallway corner toward the elevators. “What the fuck?”

It was one thing when Ben had bought the Niima woman groceries, but this was straight up weird behavior. Poe had known Ben a long time and had never seen a woman - or a baby - have this kind of effect on him. There was something about her. Something more and Poe’s thoughts had swayed toward a possibility he hadn’t thought so plausible but now…

Ben’s office phone rang in the middle of Poe’s musings. It rang and it rang and Poe impatiently hurried to the desk and picked it up. 

“Ben Solo’s office, Poe Dameron speaking.”

“Poe?”

“Mrs. Solo?” 

“Where’s my son?”

Glancing back toward the door, Poe sighed. “He’s not in.”

“He’s not answering his cell.”

Poe looked around again and, sure enough, found Ben’s mobile phone laying underneath a pile of papers on his desk. On the screen were three missed calls from Leia and a few texts. 

“He left it behind.”

“That explains one thing. I need to speak with him. Can you let him know it’s urgent and to contact me as soon as he can?”

“Sure, but I don’t know when he’ll be back. He’s…” Poe frowned. “He’s…”

“What?” Leia demanded impatiently. 

“It’s hard to explain. There’s this girl and her kid-” A gasp on the other end of a line startled Poe. “Mrs. Solo?” 

“Poe, come see me immediately.”

“But-”

“Immediately!”

She hung up and Poe was left to stare at the receiver in confusion. He thought, not for the first time and not for the last, that the Organa-Skywalker-Solo’s were a strange bunch.

* * *

“The doctor said to go ahead and bring you in since you have a fever,” Rey told the baby, locking her apartment door before reaching for the baby’s carrier. “I swear, if you have the flu I’ll never forgive those ladies at the daycare!”

The baby had been sniffling ever since he’d had the impromptu stay at the Skywalker Inc. executive daycare and at first Rey had thought he might have been allergic to one of the expensive anti-odor machines but when she’d taken his temperature this morning, it had been too high for a simple possibly allergy. Hence the call to a local pediatrician that Rey’s insurance could afford, which was a decent amount. Skywalker Inc. took care of their employees in that regard. 

After the now-routine obstacle course of getting the baby and his stroller down the stairs, Rey and the baby stepped out into a bitter winter wind. She immediately checked to make sure the baby was warm enough - he should have been, considering the thousand layers she’d put on him - and then pulled her own scarf closer about her neck. 

“Now all we have to do is catch the bu-”

A familiar black Audi pulled up at that moment, startling Rey into gaping. 

_How the hell does he do that?_

She watched as Ben hopped out of his car and jogged around the front. He looked a bit flustered, his cheeks and ears pink even though he’d just come out from the warmth of his state-of-the-art vehicle. When he reached her, he seemed to hesitate, blinking at her for a moment before thrusting his hands in his coat pockets. 

“Hey.” He said. “Uh, how are you?”

Rey couldn’t help the giggle that erupted from her chest. He was ridiculous. “What are you doing here?” 

Ben ran a hand through his hair, his lips puckering into a near pout. “You didn’t come in this morning.” 

“No,” Rey said slowly. “The baby’s sick.”

“You should have called me.” It was close enough to accusing that Rey’s hackles raised. 

“Excuse me?”

It was clear that he realized he’d made a mistake because he sucked his lips into his mouth before blowing out a deep breath. 

“I _wish_ you would have called me. Because…”

“Because?” Rey prompted, her teeth clacking together a bit as another blast of arctic air blew by. 

“Because…” he worked his jaw and his eyes darted between her and the baby, registering, apparently for the first time, that she was dressed to go somewhere. “Where are you going?”

“Uh, the doctor’s office.” Wait, did he answer her question?

“I’ll drive you.”

“Ben!” Rey gawked at him. “Did you come from work?”

He pointed at the car instead of answering. “In.”

Well, she’d long since learned it was pointless to argue with him so she rolled her eyes, belying the smile that had crept its way onto her face. 

“Fine. But I need to get little Ben’s car seat first.”

****

A short drive later Rey was sitting anxiously in the pediatrician’s waiting room that was decorated with balloons and circus characters. It was meant to be cheery and diverting but Rey didn’t like clowns so the one that was staring at her from the opposite wall nearly drove her out of the room. 

Unknowingly making it worse was Ben, who kept bouncing one of his knees in rapid movements that shook the floor beneath them. He was nervous for some reason beyond Rey. Little Ben coughed and sneezed and Rey was distracted from her irritants for a moment as she wiped the mucus off his face. The poor thing had been doing that nearly all night. She lifted him to her shoulder and cradled his head, hoping that elevating him a little would help. 

Ben leaned across his seat and rubbed the baby’s back, his brown eyes filled with so much concern that Rey almost cried. Or maybe that was the lack of sleep.

“Miss Niima?”

Rey’s head shot up to see a nurse with a clipboard standing in front of her. “Yes?”

The nurse gestured toward the door leading to the examination room. “The doctor is ready to see you. Follow me.” He turned and Rey obeyed. When they reached the door, the nurse looked back and frowned. “He can come too.” He gestured at Ben who looked more than a bit confused. 

“Oh,” Rey’s face scrunched up. “He can?” 

“I can?” Somehow Ben had made his way over without Rey noticing. He turned to Rey. “Do you want me to?”

“Do you want to?” She asked, flushing. “You can if you want.” The idea of having him in the room with her was comforting. It was selfish but she wanted him there.

“But do you want me there?” Ben pressed and Rey bit at her bottom but met his eyes and nodded. Relief and something else Rey couldn’t quite interpret swept over his expression. “Okay.”

When Rey turned back to the nurse she saw a bewildered expression on his face. But with a shake of his head it was gone and he ushered them through the door, depositing them in an exam room decorated with pastel bunnies. 

_Better than the clowns_. 

Rey settled on the exam chair, little Ben in her lap, while Ben stationed himself behind her. 

The door opened a minute later and a woman with grey-blue eyes and lilac hair entered the room. She stopped short in the doorway, her jaw going slack. But the moment was brief and the doctor quickly recovered, morphing into a neutral expression. 

“Hello, Benjamin.”

Rey looked over her shoulder at Ben, relieved that he knew the doctor, but was surprised to see that he’d stiffened and locked his jaw. So not a good relationship. 

“Amilyn. I didn’t know this was your office.”

_Definitely not good. _Rey worried at her lower lip, refocusing on the doctor. The woman only smiled in amusement. 

“I take it you haven’t spoken with your mother in some time.”

“No.” Rey thought she heard some guilt in his tone and wondered about it. She thought the Skywalker clan were tight-knit considering Ben ran one of the company’s branches, but apparently her assumptions were wrong.

“I saw her yesterday. She’s doing well. Although she does have some… questions for you.” 

The way the doctor paused and looked at Rey made her shift uncomfortably. Again, though, the moment passed so quickly Rey thought she could have imagined it and the doctor introduced herself. 

“Amilyn Holdo.” She held out her hand and Rey shook it. “And who is this handsome gentleman?” Dr. Holdo took one of little Ben’s hands in hers and he looked up at her with wide, curious eyes. 

“This is Ben.” Rey smiled, glad to see the baby wasn’t afraid. 

The doctor’s eyes flicked toward the giant man in the room who tensed so much that Rey could feel it in waves at her back. 

“A popular name, it seems.” Holdo quipped lightly. “I understand he’s not feeling so well?”

Rey shook her head and explained the baby’s symptoms: runny, stuffy nose, coughing, and trouble sleeping. Holdo listened patiently.

“No vomiting or fever?” She asked. Rey shook her head again.

“No.” 

“He’s about six or seven months, correct?”

“Yes.”

Holdo smiled and Rey relaxed. “He’s just got a bit of a cold. Make sure he gets lots of fluids - are you nursing or is he on formula?”

Ben being in the room somehow made the question awkward. “Um, formula.” Rey cleared her throat, her face reddening. 

“You can also give him water and fruit juice. That’ll help him stay hydrated. Do you have a bulb syringe?”

“I think so.” Rey said. 

“Use that to clear his nose. And if he’s having trouble breathing use some saline. He should be fine in a week or so.”

Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Rey smiled. “Thank you, doctor. I know this was short notice and probably silly to come in for.” 

“Nonsense. You’re a first time mother. It’s understandable. But rest assured, he’ll be just fine. You’re doing wonderfully.” Dr. Holdo smooth out some of little Ben’s hair before straightening. “I think my work here is done. You two have a good day. And, Ben,” she fixed a stern expression on him that Rey couldn’t understand. “I think you need to talk to your mother.”

****

After the somewhat odd examination, Rey made her way to the desk to work out the insurance since it was her first visit. 

“Whose insurance is this going on?” The clerk asked in a bored tone. “The mother’s or the father’s?”

“What?” Rey squeaked, not expecting the question. She thought it was obvious.

The clerk took a deep breath through her nose. “Are you on separate insurance and whose will the bill be on? Yours,” she pointed at Rey, “or his?” She pointed at Ben, who froze in place. 

“Oh, he’s not… we’re not together…” 

“I’m not…! She’s not my…” 

Rey didn’t know what to do, too flustered to form any coherent sentences while at the same time Ben tried to do the same and failed. The clerk looked between them with a grimace. 

“Look, I don’t need to know your life story, just give me the insurance card.”

Handing the baby over to Ben, Rey dug through her purse for the card and nearly threw it at the clerk. Once she was given the card and paperwork, Ben guided the way out of the office. They didn’t speak until they were settled in his car and not until after a few moments of awkward silence in which Rey realized that if the clerk thought she and Ben were a couple, then the nurse must have as well. Which explained the strange look he’d given them. 

The silence went on and they exchanged nervous glances. 

She had to say something.

“So,” she coughed. “So you know the doctor?”

Ben grimaced. “My mother knows her.” He started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

“Oh.” Rey pressed her lips together. There was a tug of war inside her between wanting to ask him if he minded if anyone assumed they were together or apologizing that people had. His behavior recently had her thinking there had to be something going on between them. Something he was interested in. Their lunch together had been lovely, if a little strange. But Rey, for the first time, hadn’t found it hard to talk to him. She’d even opened up a little about her past. A thing she never did. 

But Rey kept circling back to reality. A relationship with her boss was difficult enough. A relationship with her boss built on lies? Impossible.

Sighing, Rey decided it was best to apologize. 

“I’m sorry.”

Ben glanced at her, obviously confused. “For what?”

“They assumed we were together. I should have made it clear to them that you were a friend.” 

“Oh.” She watched him look like he was struggling with something, working his jaw and pursing his lips as he drove back toward her apartment. After a minute he looked at her again, appraising her. “I didn’t mind.”

Heart leaping into her throat, Rey stared. “Y-you didn’t?”

“No.”

“I see.”

“Do you?” He was focused on the road but Rey could see him sliding glances at her, his dark eyes bright. 

Now Rey wasn’t sure. “I-I don’t know.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Okay. Don’t worry about what they thought. I was there to support you and little Ben.”

“Right.” Rey nodded, focusing on her hands as she folded them in her lap. “I appreciate it. I’m really glad you were there.”

_More than I should be._

****

Ben parked outside Rey’s apartment and helped her get the baby out. They stopped in the vestibule of her building and Rey invited him up for something but he declined, saying he needed to get back to work.

“Thank you again,” Rey rushed to say, his back already turned to leave. He stopped and faced her. She blushed at the way he was looking at her. “For coming. You’re a good… a good friend.” 

He considered her for a moment before he nodded. “Of course.”

They both turned to go their separate ways but something tugged at Rey to hold back, to call back to him and say _something _else. When she about-faced even though she had no idea what she was going to say, she saw he was already staring at her. 

Can I come over again sometime?” He asked, his Adam’s apple bobbing a little. “For that coffee."

Rey knew this was different. He was actually asking instead of inviting himself over or popping up unannounced. And she knew that she shouldn’t say yes. She knew it was the wrong move for both of them. But her mouth didn’t get the message. 

“I’d like that.”

* * *

“That sounds like the girl I saw him with. And the baby’s name is Ben?” Leia’s eyes welled. “Thank you, Amilyn. Yes, I’ll see you on Friday. Goodbye.” She hung up her phone and replaced it to the cradle. Pressing a finger to her lips, she looked out on the city from the floor-to-ceiling window in her office. Amilyn’s call had been quite informative. Enough that Leia was fully convinced that Ben had truly neglected to tell her that he had a child. She checked her office clock. Poe would be there any minute and then Leia could find out more about the girl who was the mother of her grandson. 

“Oh, Ben.” She shook her head sorrowfully. “I should never have let us drift so far apart. To not tell me this?”

The intercom buzzed. “Mrs. Solo? Poe Dameron is here for your meeting.”

Leia told her assistant to send him in. She stood to greet him as he strode to her desk. 

“Poe. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” He frowned. “But what’s the problem?”

“I understand my son has…” Leia paused, trying to word her question just right. “…an interest to a certain woman in his department. I would like to know about her.”

Surprise lit Poe’s face, but it was the kind of surprise that told Leia he knew exactly what she was talking about.

“Well?”

Poe cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. You could say he’s got an interest in her.”

Impatient, Leia decided to go right for the throat. “Is the child Ben’s?”

His expression morphed from tentative to shocked and when he opened his mouth to reply, Leia thought that perhaps she had been mistaken, but then Poe seemed to reconsider, his face falling thoughtfully. 

“I don’t know.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
> 
> I was hoping to get this fic done by now but due to life and *that* TROS ending, I've been a bit delayed. This chapter is not even skimmed over or edited in any way. I'm sure I'm gonna hate myself for publishing it before I even read it over but I wanted to get something up today for y'all. 
> 
> I also want to say that I love you all and I truly appreciate the reception this fic has gotten. It warms my heart and I know that we'll keep these characters alive together for a long, long time.❤️

It was Black Friday and Rey was enjoying it in the best way: binging a show and eating the leftovers Maz had provided her while playing with the baby, _not _braving the wild retail crowds. But later she was planning on taking little Ben to pick out a Christmas tree in a nearby lot. It would be fun for him. His first Christmas tree. 

Rey had wavered multiple times on the decision to attend Maz’s annual dinner and had thought she’d made up her mind to stay home, but on the day Maz had come and collected her and the baby. To Rey’s surprise, she’d actually had a good time. The other tenants were kind and doted on the baby, the only child in the building. Contrary to how he’d been with others - particularly Ben - the baby seemed shy and wary. Although he did enjoy the round of peek-a-boo Snap Wexley played with him.

After dinner Maz had followed Rey back up with a load of leftovers to Rey’s chagrin and delight. She tried to protest but Maz had waved her off. Secretly, Rey was all too glad to have an entire pan of marshmallow covered sweet potatoes to herself. 

“Because they’re delicious.” She tickled the baby’s stomach and grinned as he screeched happily. “But not as delicious as you!” 

It was as she reached for a bite of those potatoes (the whole pan was sitting on her coffee table) that a sharp knock sounded on her door. Frowning because she had no idea who could be visiting her the day after Thanksgiving, Rey put her fork down and picked the baby up before heading to the door. She looked through the peephole and gasped before she pulled the door open. 

“Ben!”

There he stood, wearing a black henley underneath his coat, with a bit of a shy expression. Ben ran a hand through his hair and smiled. “Hey.” 

“What are you doing here?” Rey blurted, too stunned to remember her manners and invite him in. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just…” he cleared his throat. “I was, uh, in the neighborhood, and just thought I would drop by… for that coffee?”

She didn’t believe that for a second. 

“You were in the neighborhood? Ben, there’s nothing in this neighborhood. It’s pretty much nowhere.”

He gave her a sheepish expression that warmed her from head to toe and she stepped aside to let him in. Relief and gratefulness spread over his face and he took the one stride inside. Rey closed the door behind him, unsure what the plan was but wanting him there all the same. 

“So…” Rey chewed at her bottom lip. Ben focused on her, eyes scanning her face before casting them to the baby. 

“How’s little Ben doing?”

Rey snuggled the baby closer and smiled. “He’s doing a lot better. Well enough to go out, I think. I was going to take him to get a Christmas tree today - do you… do you want to come?” 

A stunned silence fell between them in which Ben stared in shock and Rey sucked in a sharp breath, casting her gaze down, surprised by her own invitation. It had slipped out before she could stop herself. 

“Okay.” His reply was quick. 

Her eyes shot up. “Really? I mean, you don’t have to…”

“Rey.” Ben using her name resounded through her chest like thunder. “I want to.”

“Okay.” Rey knew she sounded breathless but she couldn’t help it. “Okay, um, we can go now?”

Ben nodded. “Sure. Whatever you’d like. We can take my car. Strap the tree to the top.” 

“That would be nice, thank you. Um, I’ll go get the baby ready. Make yourself at home.”

He glanced around and she watched his gaze settle on the little nest she’d made on the couch along with the whole pan of sweet potatoes. Embarrassment swept through Rey for the mess and the giant pan of food.

But Ben, as usual, surprised her by _not_ remarking on the state of her living room. 

“Are you watching Stranger Things?”

“Oh, yeah,” Rey shuffled toward the TV to turn it off right as Dustin and his camp girlfriend belted out The Never-ending Story theme. “Rewatching. The baby likes the music. He has a thing for the 80s, apparently.”

A smile tugged up the corners of Ben’s mouth. “Bon Jovi and Stranger Things. He really is a little me.”

Rey’s chest tightened and her stomach did a flip.

“He’s really great, isn’t he.” She murmured shakily, eyes on Ben. 

“He is.” Ben replied, voice lowering. “Another quality he shares with his mother.”

Rey was fairly certain her knees turned to rubber.

She was definitely in trouble. 

****

The Christmas tree lot was the kind of old-fashioned lot that lights draped across the space in a kind of canopy and a small cart with complimentary hot chocolate and cookies, the baked goods and chocolate mixing with the pine sap in the air to create a distinctly seasonal aroma. Holiday music filtered through the rows and rows of conifers, interspersed with the delighted laughter of children as they approached the pet reindeer near the cocoa cart. The weather was cold but not as biting as it been the past few weeks. Snow and salt still decorated the asphalt in dirty piles, though the weather predicted a fresh layer coming that night. 

Rey had made sure to wrap little Ben up well, just in case. But as she and Ben meandered through the lines of trees, she kept stopping to fuss with little Ben’s blankets, worried she hadn’t done enough. He was still only so far from recovering from his cold. 

“Rey, he’s wrapped up in more layers than a parfait.” Ben laughed as she stopped for the umpteenth time to check the baby. “I think he’s fine.” 

“I just want to make sure.” Rey straightened up from her kneeling position beside the baby’s stroller. She pulled her own coat tighter around her but shivered as the wind picked up and revealed that her orange beanie had slid up her ears. “Ugh, this thing…”

At the same time she reached up to pull the cap down, a larger pair of gloved hands was already there, shielding her face from the wind as they gently tugged the beanie to cover her ears. Rey’s heart skipped a beat as she turned her eyes up to meet Ben’s. He’d stepped closer and hadn’t yet dropped his hands. Instead he’d pressed them to her cheeks, the soft leather warm against her chilled skin. Rey stopped breathing. 

The way he was gazing at her, with a softness to his mouth that hinted at a smile and eyes that glimmered with an emotion she couldn’t quite decipher, made her feel…

_Adored. _

He leaned forward a fraction of an inch and Rey also shifted forward, her eyes sliding to his lips, anticipating the moment they would meet hers.

“Hey there! Is there anything I can do to help you?” A cheerful male voice sliced through the moment and Rey jumped back and out of Ben’s space. His browns knit in an expression that could only be described as a mix of annoyed and forlorn, which he immediately turned on the intruder. 

Rey looked at the blond teenager - probably the child of whoever owned the lot - and blinked. 

“We need a tree,” she choked out. 

The kid looked between Rey and Ben, starting a bit at the sour expression on Ben’s face as he edged toward the line of trees. “Uh, how about this white pine? Soft bristles, scent isn’t overpowering, and it’ll last the month.” He pulled out a fluffy green tree and stamped it on the ground, shaking out the loose bristles. 

“That’s great. Perfect. I’ll take it.” Rey blurted out the words in a rush as she grabbed the handle on the baby’s stroller, for support as much as to push little Ben forward. 

She heard Ben fall into step behind her as she followed the blond kid back toward the front of the lot with the tree. Silence reigned between them the entire walk and wasn’t broken until Ben had lifted the tree bodily onto the roof of his car, the site of which tightened Rey’s stomach and sent indecent thoughts through her head despite the object being a _Christmas_ tree and probably not that heavy. 

_I am such a perv. _Rey chastised herself and finished securing the baby into his carseat before turning to fold up the stroller and stuff it into the trunk of Ben’s car. 

****

Ben stayed to help Rey set up the tree and she made some hot chocolate after putting the baby in his crib for a nap because he’d been falling asleep in the car. She'd made sure to leave the door to her room open so she could hear him. 

She walked into the living room holding two mugs piled high with marshmallows to see that Ben had successfully planted the tree in the stand Rey had borrowed from Maz. 

“This thing was really rusty,” he remarked, straightening up and dusting his hands off on his pants before taking the mug she offered him. Her fingers brushed his and she remembered how his palms had completely enveloped her cheeks. His henley was pulled up to his elbows, again revealing his strong forearms. Rey idly imagined what else hid beneath that shirt, outlined so teasingly by the tight fabric. “The knobs didn’t want to give.”

“Maz leant it to me. I don’t normally get a live tree,” Rey explained, mentally chiding her wandering mind. “But with the baby this year…” She peered down at her cup shyly. “I thought it would be nice. I don’t always feel like I’m doing things right with him, but I wanted to do this right. I always wanted a live tree when I was little.” Rey walked up to the tree and ran her hand over the soft bristles. “My foster dad never even put up a fake one. He didn’t do anything for Christmas. I hated it.”

Being open with him was so easy that she hadn’t even realized she’d shared until she glanced over her shoulder and saw his face. He was surprised. Rey flushed and refocused on the tree. 

Maybe she’d _over_ shared. 

“My Christmases weren’t so great either.”

It was Rey’s turn to be surprised. And confused. “You didn’t? But… I mean… your family…” she stopped, his expression pained. 

“Yeah. I know. I was privileged. I don’t deny that.” He sighed and frowned into his cup. “The family empire took all of my parents’ attention. We didn’t really have holidays. The house got decorated but it was empty except for me. It was cold. I didn’t like it. Kind of acted out a lot.”

“No,” she gave him a small smile with her tease. “Not you.”

His eyes crinkled but there was a hard edge to his returning smile and Rey’s own fell. “Hard to imagine, right?”

“You were lonely.” Rey replied; she couldn’t tease him anymore. “I know what that’s like.” She’d spent plenty of Christmas nights crying into her pillow over a family she knew was never coming back. 

“Do you still feel lonely?” he asked, his chin dropping as he lowered his eyes. There was a hint of desperation in them, as if he still felt alone and he _needed_ to know he wasn’t the only one.

“Yes.” Rey whispered, a lump lodged in her throat. “Sometimes I lie awake at night. Sometimes I dream of being somewhere far away. An island. No one else is there. And… and I’ve never felt so alone.”

“You’re not alone.” He rumbled, his eyes dark and glittering with emotion. Rey was enrapt.

“Neither are you.” The words spilled out as natural as the breath that bore them, as if she’d always meant to say them to him. As if she’d always known he’d need to hear them. Tears rolled down her cheek and she saw his eyes trail them as they fell. His free hand twitched, as if he wanted to raise it and wipe away her tears but was forcing himself to resist. She wished he wouldn’t. 

All the excuses she’d thrown around in her head earlier to make herself feel better disappeared. She couldn’t let the deception - accidental as it may have been - go on any longer. Not now. Not when there was this _something_ between them. 

“Ben, the day we met-”

“Oh,” Ben’s eyes widened and the moment shattered. “I forgot to tell you! Your promotion went through. I meant to let you know that day little Ben went to the doctor. It’ll be official after the holidays, but it’s a sure thing.”

Rey was dumbfounded. “I-it is? You really did it?”

“Yes,” he nodded as he took a step forward, putting the mug of cocoa down on her coffee table. “I promised I would and I keep my word.”

“You do.” Rey didn’t know if she was happy or grieved because he’d gone to so much trouble. Maybe a little bit of both. “You really do.”

Carefully, because her hands were shaking, Rey put her own cup on the table. He was closer now, having moved toward her again. When Rey raised her head she had to crane her neck up to see his face. She could smell his cologne. Heady and warm. His eyes drew her in and her breathing shallowed as they flicked to her lips and back, a silent request. Rey’s mouth parted as she took an unsteady breath. Ben’s hands rested on her waist, drawing her forward. She planted her hands on his shoulders, her chin tilting to just the right angle as he lowered his. Rey could feel his breath on her face; she wanted so badly to surge forward and take what he was offering. And she would have. 

But a screech resounded through the apartment and Rey gasped, her head jerking back. “The baby.” 

Something like a resigned growl echoed through Ben’s chest as he loosened his fingers at her waist, allowing her to step away from his embrace. “You should go check on him.”

Rey nodded but she hesitated, still close enough to feel the warmth of his body. Maybe it was the residual adrenaline, but Rey decided to let herself have _something_. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek in a quick caress. 

His face was all the reward she needed. The awe and wonder and heat in his eyes sent a thrill down Rey’s spine that made her toes curl.

“Will you stay?” she asked softly, face hot. “And help me decorate the tree?” 

Ben swallowed thickly and nodded, as if he was too dumbstruck to speak. 

“I’ll go get the baby.” Rey moved off toward her bedroom, but would glance over her shoulder at him. He watched her the entire time, his eyes still burning. 

Once in the relative solitude of her bedroom as she put a new diaper on the baby, the reality struck Ben reciprocated Rey’s crush. A lot. And, maybe, that she had something more than a crush on him. 

“Oh baby,” she looked sadly down at little Ben, who met her gaze with wide and curious eyes. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

****

Two weeks later Skywalker Inc. was well into its celebrations of the holiday season. The employees were allowed to decorate their offices as they pleased with the result that a cacophony of beautiful and different schemes dotted the entire building, from the lobby to the executive floor. Even Threepio had taken to wearing festive ties. 

On that particular day, Rey was typing away at her desk, creating a memo for Hux. One of the clients had complained about his attitude and Ben had ordered him to take the person out on the company dime and woo them back. Of course Hux had not taken it well. Ben hadn’t backed down and as Rey tapped out the last words of the memo, she smiled at the memory. He was a strong leader. Sometimes he was acerbic and impatient. But he motivated people to do their best because he strove to do his. 

As the Christmas season had picked up, Ben’s appearances had dwindled. She hadn’t seen him at all the past couple of weeks except for the exchange with Hux. No matter how many times she chastised herself, Rey could not stop feeling melancholy about it. She _missed_ him. What was worse was that she could tell little Ben missed him. The poor baby had somehow gotten used to having Ben around and in his absence had taken to eyeing the door sometimes, as if expecting big Ben to appear that second.

Rey sighed as she clicked _send_ on the memo and leaned back in her office chair. She’d given up pretending she didn’t like Ben. She did. A lot. And she knew she was walking a thin and dangerous line by continuing to uphold the deception about her and the baby. But there was a draw to Ben she couldn’t resist. As if they were tied together in some way and she could no sooner deny it than say the earth was flat. 

But she was waiting for the day it would all blow up in her face as she knew it would. 

_Maybe, though,_ she thought, _it won’t be today. _

“You look pensive.”

His familiar baritone thrummed through her body like the cello in a Bach suite. Raising her head, Rey smiled to see Ben grinning down at her, as if he might have missed seeing her as much as she’d missed him. 

“I was thinking.” _Of you._

“Hm, that’s a dangerous habit.”

Rey tilted her head in curiosity. “What do you mean?”

Planting his hands on the desk, he brought himself closer to her. “You might start to realize you’re too good for us.”

Laughing, Rey shook her head. “That was bad.”

He shrugged. “I try. How’s little Ben?”

“He’s good, thanks,” Rey replied, warmed at his concern for the baby. He always asked about him when they met. And, despite the child not being her own, she’d already taken a kind of ownership of him. That, too, would probably bite her in the ass, but until it did she’d continue to love the baby like he deserved. Like she’d never been. 

“And you?” he asked, voice drifting down half an octave. “How are you?”

“I’m…” Rey swallowed, heart beating faster as he looked at her the way he had when they’d almost kissed. It was absolutely indecent for a work environment. “I’m good, too.”

“Good.” Ben murmured, his eyes drifting over her face in a gentle study. “I came down here because I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?” He opened his mouth and closed it again, his expression conflicted. A smile played at Rey’s mouth at his expression, looking more like a shy little boy than a grown man. “What?”

He took a deep breath before he spoke. “You know Skywalker Inc. throws a Christmas gala every year on Christmas Eve?” Rey nodded. “I want you to go with me.”

“With you?” she frowned. As his assistant? Did he need her to take notes or something?

“I hate them,” he rolled his eyes. “They’re boring events consisting of a bunch of executives and my mom schmoozing each other and potential new clients. But, it might be more tolerable if you were there… with me.” His brown eyes were a little hopeful, a little scared. “As my date.”

Rey swore she forgot how to breathe. “Your date.”

He nodded slowly, deliberately. “My date.”

This was a bad idea. Things that happened in her apartment or at a random tree lot were one thing but this was _work_. This was _public_. A public _date. _This was a _bad idea_. She was lying about her life and he was her boss. There wasn’t actually a rule at Skywalker Inc. against work place dating, but there was a ton of paperwork to do and surely he didn’t really want to do that for her?

And she was _LYING_ to him on a daily basis. 

_Say no say no say no. _

“Please?” 

The entreaty in his shaking voice broke her. 

“I’d love to.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. HAVE. NO. CHILL.
> 
> here's a 6k monster chapter for you. my gift to you since this Christmas fic has gone well past Epiphany and isn't over yet. 
> 
> thank you all so, so much for your patience! I've had a lot of personal/family issues going which has made writing difficult. I think I should do a bit better now. I really appreciate y'all sticking around for this and hopefully the final chapters will be fun and fluffy and satisfying!
> 
> Enjoy! 🥰

Leia had been patient. She had waited. She had tried to give Ben time to tell her the truth. All of her instincts had urged her to confront him about it after Amilyn’s informative - as much as she could be anyway - phone call and Leia’s subsequent conversation with Poe. Too many times she’d scared Ben away by asking for too much too fast. 

But Christmas Eve approached and with it the realization that she might not get to see her own grandchild at his or her first Christmas. 

“I don’t even know their gender,” she muttered to herself, reaching for her home office’s phone. It was time to call Ben and get straight answers from him. 

The phone rang once, twice, four times before he picked up. Leia wondered if he was bracing himself. She was. She looked up at the last family portrait she’d had commissioned and sighed. Han would tell her not to push. To ‘give the kid time’.

An all too familiar wave of grief rolled over her. God, she missed him.

“Mom.”

Tears pricked at her eyes as they always did when she heard his voice. For so long there had been silence between she and her son, years between them speaking made all the worse after Han’s death. And even though their relationship had improved, there were still a million more miles to go. 

“Ben. There’s something we need to talk about.” She heard him sigh. 

“I told you the contracts are going to be signed in the new year.”

Leia couldn’t help rolling her eyes. “It’s not about work.”

A pause. “Then what’s it about?”

He sounded wary, maybe a little suspicious. It broke Leia’s heart. She needed to go about this delicately. 

“How are you?” she asked. 

“Uh, fine. Are you… is everything okay?”

“I thought…” Leia cleared her throat and struggled for an idea, any idea to make the questions she wanted to ask seem more natural. When it came to her, she smiled. “The gala is tomorrow and the planning committee wanted to make sure the catering numbers are correct.” A little white lie never hurt anyone. “Everyone is allowed a plus one, as you know, but many guests didn’t mark it on their RSVPs yet we know they _must_ have one. It’s massively irritating. I know you don’t usually invite anyone and I told them that but they still need the confirmation.”

If the girl was important to him, he’d take her to the gala. Leia hoped. 

Another pause. 

“I’m taking someone.” He said it like it was torture to tell her but Leia was too excited to pay it any mind. 

“Oh?” she forced herself to sound disinterested. “That’s a nice change. Anyone I know?”

“No. I have to go, mother. Is that all you needed?”

Leia’s face fell but she was thankful for what little she got. “No, that’s all. I’ll see you tomorrow night.” She swallowed. “I love you, Ben.”

There was a noise she couldn’t make out from Ben’s end. 

“Love you, too.” He grumbled and ended the call. 

A new, tearful smile lit Leia’s face and she leaned back in her chair. 

She had a good feeling about this Christmas.

* * *

“Not that one.”

Rey groaned, staring down at the blue organza in despair. “Why are you so picky?”

“I’m not being picky,” Rose sniffed pertly. “I have taste.”

Putting her hands on her hips, Rey glared at her friend, who was sitting smugly on a cushioned bench in Windu Department Stores formal wear department, where Rey had thought she could find a dress for Ben’s gala. But Rose, though Rey loved her dearly, was being difficult. 

“I would like to think I have taste, too. You haven’t liked anything! The gala is tomorrow, I kind of need a dress _now_!”

The reason behind why she hadn’t yet bought a dress despite having had a good week and a half to do so wasn’t entirely her fault. Work about been incredibly busy. Ben had been absent the entire time. She saw glimpses of him sometimes in the lobby but he didn’t alway see her. When he did he smiled and her legs turned to rubber and her heart broke. 

Why, why, why had this entire thing started with such a dreadful lie?

Rose brought Rey back to the present. “Then I don’t know why you asked me to come. I’m going to be honest. None of these dresses work,” she gestured at the nearly full rack of already-tried-on dresses next to the dressing room Rey occupied. “They’re not you.”

“Then what _is_ me?” Rey asked, frustrated. Rose gave her a sly grin and stood. “Where are you going?”

“Close your eyes.” Rose demanded. “I’ll be back in a sec’.”

In what Rey pettily counted as ten seconds, Rose returned.

“Okay,” Rose whispered. “Open your eyes.”

Sighing and ready to say no to whatever design Rose had chosen, Rey opened her eyes and took in the gown. 

“_Oh_.”

The dress was a full skirt in a deep purple satin with off-the-shoulder sleeves and a sweetheart neckline, invoking a 1950s vibe Rey didn’t think she would like but actually loved.

“Exactly.” Rose preened. “Now go try it on and prove me even more right.”

****

The day of the gala began as all Rey’s days did: her alarm went off, the baby went off, and Rey proceeded to change him, dress him, feed him and do everything that needed to be done before she even touched what she needed. Rey had feared that since she had the day off she would be a nervous wreck until the gala. And she was right. 

After taking care of the baby, Rey had time to think and mull over what the day was leading up to: a date. A real date with Ben. 

Not even distracting herself with Netflix helped. She tried going for a walk with the baby but it was too cold to stay out for long, winter returning with a vengeance after a week of reprieve. She tried to play a game with the baby, helping him use one of his early learning toys. That did distract her for a bit. Little Ben kept trying to eat the toy, of course, and Rey was fighting with him on it. 

But as the time for Ben to pick her up crept closer, Rey’s anxiety spiked to Defcon 5.

As she fed the baby, her thoughts wandered to what the night might entail. Everybody in the office had been talking about the gala and how the company went all out for it every year. Dancing, holiday entertainment, and lots of food and drink apparently made it one of the best nights of the year. The Skywalker’s knew how to throw a party. 

And Ben was taking her as his date. A thing that would definitely make a statement. Rey wasn’t sure she was ready for it. Or if it was the right thing to do. Scratch that. It _definitely _wasn’t the right thing to do. The right thing would have been to tell him the truth about her and the baby and let him break all ties and fire her. 

But she didn’t want to do that. Selfishly, she wanted this night. She wanted _him._ The past couple of months had been the best she’d ever had, in no small part because of the baby and in an equal way because of Ben Solo. The two had quickly become the two best things about her life. 

She didn’t want to lose them. 

Rose arrived to help Rey and watch the baby and every other thought became lost in the maelstrom of getting ready. The baby was on Rey’s bed, watching with curious eyes as Rose tried to get Rey into her dress. 

“Stop fidgeting,” Rose grumbled. “You’re making it hard to zip this thing up!”

“Sorry.” Rey chewed at her lower lip. “Maybe I should cancel.”

“Oh no!” There was a sharp tug where Rose gripped the dress to prevent Rey from reaching for her mobile phone. “You’re going. And you’re going to have fun!”

“I don’t belong there, Rose!” Rey lamented. “I’m a nobody! Why would he want to take me?”

Rose shrugged as she buttoned the back of Rey’s collar. “Maybe because you’re hot, smart, and have an adorable baby.”

Rey groaned. “An adorable baby who’s not mine. Maybe I should tell him everything.” She looked over her shoulder to see Rose’s disapproving expression. “Maybe?”

“Listen. If you really feel like telling him tonight, then please do.” Rose forced Rey to sit down on the bed. The baby army-crawled over and Rey immediately picked him up, finding comfort just holding him. “But not before you make out.”

“Rose!” Rey hissed, her face heating. Her friend walked back over with a collection of makeup and brushes, an amused expression on her face. 

“What? You want to. You told me you almost kissed him a couple weeks ago.” She closed one eye as she examined Rey’s face. “Do you want a smokey eye, glam, or a more natural look?”

The baby tugged at the neckline of Rey’s dress and giggled, seemingly amused by the feel of the fabric. Rey kissed his temple and rubbed his back in a gentle rhythm. She caught Rose looking at her with a soft smile. 

“What?”

“It’s just…” Rose dipped one of the brushes into some eye shadow. “You’re good at being a mom.”

If Rose had known had Rey would react to such a statement, perhaps she would have kept it to herself. Rey hoped not. In any case, Rey drew in a deep, shuddering breath and tears fell freely down her cheeks. Rose froze in place and her eyes widened in a comical fashion. 

“Rey! Honey, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”

Rey shook her head and hugged the baby a bit closer. “No, no. I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s just…” she wiped away the tears. “Thank you. I didn’t think…” She sniffed. “I… I’d hoped I was doing alright. It’s hard. _So_ hard. Most days I think I’m failing. I know it. But… but I want to be for him what I never had.” She sucked in a sharp breath. 

“You’re not failing.” Rose put a hand on Rey’s knee reassuringly. “You’re doing better than alright. You’re giving him love and care and that’s what he needs.” 

The baby laid his head down on Rey’s shoulder, his little body relaxing as he gave in to sleep. She cradled him to her, heart constricting and soul light as air at the trust he’d placed in her. She did love him. He’d come in and stolen her heart fully and completely. There was no way, she realized, that she was ever going to be able to give him up. 

When Rey raised her head, Rose was giving her a watery smile. “Look what you did,” she sniffed and wiped at her eyes and nose. She must have caught sight of Rey’s alarm clock because she gasped. “Oh my gosh, we’ve got to finish quick!”

****

Rose was still coiling Rey’s hair in the curling iron as she rushed to answer the somewhat insistent knock on her apartment door. Rey stopped abruptly at the door and smoothed out her dress, giving Rose some time to disentangle the curling iron. She tucked the errant curl up into the rest of the chignon that lay against Rey’s shoulder and huffed out a breath. 

“Okay. Beautiful.” Another knock. Rose squealed and Rey gave her a look. “Sorry,” she grinned. “Okay, I’m going to go hide. Have fun tonight!” Rose hugged Rey tightly before scurrying back to the bedroom where Rey was certain she would be peeking from. 

Shifting from one too-high heel to the other, Rey blew out a deep breath and opened the door. A thick fist nearly bumped into her nose. Evidently, Ben had been about to knock again. He started and dropped his hand just in time.

“Hey.” He swallowed as his eyes shifted down and back up her figure. “You look… beautiful.”

Rey ducked her head, cheeks and everywhere else flushing. “Thanks,” she murmured. “Um,” she glanced back into her apartment. “Do you want to come in? While I grab my coat?”

He nodded, his hair sweeping over his eyes a bit and Rey wondered how the hell he had gotten his hair so soft. It was downright fluffy. Her fingers twitched and it was all she could do to refrain from reaching up and touching it as he passed by. It didn’t help he smelled so damn good.

_Where the fuck is he getting his cologne anyway? _

Certainly not the department store where she got her perfume. 

His had to be over a hundred dollars. Like the coat he wore. And probably the suit he had on underneath. 

Rey blew a sigh through her nose and closed the door.

“Hey there!” Rey rolled her eyes at Rose’s chirped greeted, turning round to see that Rose had reappeared from the bedroom holding the baby. At Rey’s obviously displeased expression, Rose shrugged. “He woke up. Hi, I’m Rose.” She grinned at Ben, who didn’t seem to know how to react at first. His eyes narrowed and darted between Rose and Rey, landing on the baby finally, as if he wasn’t comfortable that a stranger was holding him. 

Which should have annoyed her but instead his uber-protectiveness of little Ben had her insides doing tumbles. 

“Ben, this is Rose Tico,” Rey forced her head to clear and stepped up to stand between Ben and Rose as she introduced them. “Rose, Ben Solo.”

“Ah, from the picture.” Ben’s shoulders dropped and he nodded once. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Tico.”

“A pleasure to meet _you._” Rose’s eyes darted to Rey and back to Ben. She grinned. “A real pleasure.”

Rey rolled her eyes again and stepped forward to give little Ben a goodbye kiss as well as a warning look at Rose, who ignored it of course. 

“Be a good boy for Rose and Maz,” Rey told the baby, holding his tiny hand in hers. The anxiety she had expected to feel over leaving him arrived right on time and she chewed at her bottom lip despite Rose’s careful application of her lipstick. “Tell Maz that if anything - _anything_ \- happens to call me immediately.”

A not so subtle roll of the eyes was Rose’s response. “It’s like you don’t trust us or something. We’ve all watched the baby before. And he’s survived.”

“Rose.”

“Rey.”

Narrowing her eyes, Rey would have retorted in some other childish way but was interrupted by a large hand appearing at the small of her back. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Ben rumbled. “But if you want, we can leave the gala early.” 

_Number 2187 of you being amazing. _Rey didn’t try to stop the fond smile that erupted on her face. She tried to ignore Rose’s pointed expression and raised her eyes to Ben’s. He was gazing at her with a mix of concern and anticipated disappointment but at the sight of her smiling face his own relaxed. 

“I’ll be fine.” Rey assured him and knew that she would be. She placed one more kiss to the top of little Ben’s head before fetching her coat from the chair she’d thrown it over earlier in the evening. When she turned round she saw that little Ben had grabbed hold of one of Ben’s ungloved fingers. The man was grinning like it was Christmas morning and Rey nearly melted at the sight. Together they looked… perfect.

She gripped her coat tightly in her hands. _I am in so much trouble._

****

Of course their arrival would be noticed. He was a director in the company and the heir to the entire damn, galaxy-sized corporation. The gala was being held at the ritziest hotel in the city, the Coruscant Plaza, in the biggest ballroom they had. When Rey entered the ornately decorated room on Ben’s arm, more than a few people turned their heads. She had a sneaking suspicion Ben didn’t usually take a date to these things, if he went at all. 

The ballroom was decked out in burgundy and forest green, with hints of gold flecked about here and there. Celebrating Christmas’ traditional colors just… richer. At the opposite end of the doors was a live band playing holiday classics. They were good, but then the Skywalker’s never skimped. 

While she was nervous, Rey was astounded when, as she and Ben moved further into the room, he stiffened and tightened his hold on her hand. He would look around the room, scanning the tops of peoples heads, as if looking for someone in particular. Or looking to avoid them. 

“Benjamin!” A deep, boisterous voice belonging to an older man who looked somewhat like a fish floated to them from one of the many tables of food in the room. “Leia’s been looking for you, son.”

“I’m sure she has,” Ben muttered, tossing an apologetic look at Rey. She managed a quiet smile in return. If he was nervous she would try her best not to be. She could do that much for him. “Thank you for coming, Gial.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” The other man huffed. “Too many good snacks. Are you going to introduce us?” He smiled kindly at Rey who thought that maybe she liked this man. Ben cleared his throat. 

“Right, this is Rey. Rey Niima. Rey, Admiral Gial Ackbar, an old friend of my family’s.”

_That’s_ why his name seemed familiar. The admiral was well known for his naval accomplishments. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Admiral Ackbar.” Rey extended her right hand, having to separate it from Ben’s, which he didn’t seem to like at all because as soon as Ackbar released her hand, Ben tucked it back into his. Rey didn’t mind. 

After Ackbar the introductions were swift and and unending. At least they seemed that way. Rey knew the Skywalker’s were a staple in Chandrila, but she hadn’t realized just how deep their ties went. She saw Dr. Holdo, who waved at her in greeting. The mayor was there too, and she thought she saw the governor of the state. There were of course corporation employees there too, most of them the higher-ups. Rey didn’t see anyone she knew. 

_This is insane_. Rey took a long sip of the wassail punch that Ben had fetched for her, the night’s signature cocktail. It was sweet and spiced and warmed her insides. _How does his family know literally everyone important?_

The first half and hour at the gala was filled with the various important guests greeting Ben whenever they caught sight of him. Rey didn’t miss how he winced every time a presumptuous person grabbed his hand without permission and shook it the entire time they talked. It was all she could do not to laugh. After one particularly jaunty author did everything she could to flirt with and self-promote to Ben, Rey snorted. He eyed her with a glare after her managed to disentangle himself from the author’s attentions. 

“Found that funny, did you?” 

Rey pressed her lips together to prevent a louder giggle from escaping. “Maybe a little.” She took another sip of her third cup of wassail, feeling quite a bit better than she had at the beginning of the evening, the wine working its magic. “I think she wanted you to take her home.”

Dark eyes fixed a heavy stare on her. “She’s not the one I want to take home.”

_Oh fuck._

Rey swallowed thickly and nearly tipped over her punch cup. Her mind went blank and she was pretty sure her mouth opened but nothing came out. 

Thankfully - or unfortunately - someone interrupted them before Rey had to respond. 

“Benjamin!”

In a split second Rey watched Ben go from hungry to terrified. His eyes darted around behind her until they locked on whoever was walking toward them. 

“Hi, mom.” He said weakly. 

_Mom?_ Rey nearly threw her punch cup on the nearest table, desperate to put it down and somehow present herself as not tipsy to her boss’ boss and _fucking mother_. When she turned, Rey saw a short woman in a tasteful ocean blue evening gown, brown hair streaked with grey and styled in an intricate braided bun, hauling Ben down into a hug. It was so comical to see the huge man shoved around by such a tiny woman that Rey - less than sober as she was - giggled again. Which she immediately regret because it drew Leia Organa’s attention and Rey found herself under the scrutiny of warm brown eyes that were nearly identical to Ben’s. 

“Are you going to introduce me to your date, Benjamin?”

“Um, mom, this is Rey, uh, Niima. Rey this is my mother. Leia.” 

Rey swallowed and held out a shaking hand. “A pleasure to meet you Mrs. Solo.”

“Call me Leia, please!” The older woman insisted, clasping Rey’s hand in both of hers. “My dear,” Leia looked at Rey with what Rey thought were tears in her eyes, “it is so, so good to meet you.”

“Uh,” Rey glanced at Ben who had a bewildered expression on his face that Rey was sure matched her own. Okay, so it wasn’t because Rey was a little drunk. “Are you alright?”

Leia appeared to compose herself and smiled. “Of course dear. It’s just that Ben so rarely brings a date to these things and it’s a welcome change.”

“He never brings anyone?” Rey’s eyes moved from Ben - who was focused on the floor - back to his mother. Leia shook her head. 

“No. You must be… very special.” 

Again Rey had the distinct feeling that Leia’s words had a deeper meaning but even if she took them on surface level, they were wrong. 

“I’m not special.” She shook her head. “I’m no one, really.”

“That’s not true.” 

Rey’s eyes shot up to Ben, who’d spoken in a surprisingly vehement way. Leia also turned her attention to him. Rey could see Ben’s ears redden under the curtain of his hair and he worked his mouth, looking away in apparent embarrassment. Warmth filled Rey’s chest. He meant it. He really meant it. 

“Tell me about yourself, dear,” Leia’s voice broke the moment and Rey turned to see the older woman watching her intently. “What do you do?”

“Um. I’m an administrative assistant in Ben’s division.” She didn’t know if that’s what Leia was looking for but she thought it was best to begin with the basics. 

“Oh, how nice. Is that how you two met?”

Ben tensed beside Rey and she knew he was thinking about her threat the day they met. To tell Leia how he’d fired a single mother without warning or reason. That seemed like an eon ago.

“Not exactly.” Rey smiled. “We met outside of work. He helped me with something important.” A warm pressure appeared at the middle of her back. Ben’s hand. 

Leia’s wise brown eyes moved between them in an appraising way. Rey wondered if she was trying to decipher exactly what Rey meant. As if she knew Rey wasn’t being entirely honest. Which she wasn’t. About a lot of things. But Leia couldn’t possibly know that. Could she?

However the moment passed and Leia’s expression shifted into something more along the lines of playful than seeking. 

“Well, I hope he doesn’t keep you long hours.” She said. 

“No! No. He’s a great boss, actually. The best.” Rey flicked her eyes toward Ben. He was already gazing at her in that gentle way he had that he seemed to reserve only for her and sent a swarm of butterflies through her entire body. Which all froze and fell like a ton of bricks when Leia spoke again. 

“Do you have any children?”

“Mom!”

Leia clicked her tongue. “It’s just a question, Benjamin. I’m only trying to get to know the woman you’ve apparently been dating long enough to bring her here but haven’t told me about.”

The tension that erupted between mother and son intensified the immense discomfort Rey was feeling over having to lie again and say yes, she did have a child. Because Ben was there. And she was talking to his mother. 

“It’s fine, Ben.” Rey cleared her throat and pushed the proverbial shovel further into the already deep hole she’d dug for herself. “Yes. I have a son.”

A look that Rey would have described as too-innocent appeared on Leia’s face. “A son? How nice. What’s his name?”

This was awkward. 

“Um, Ben.” Rey barely kept herself from wincing. “It’s a family name.” She rushed to add, thinking that would make it less weird. “On his father’s side.”

“On his father’s side.” Leia nodded slowly, a curious expression passing over her face Rey couldn’t decipher. “It’s a lovely tradition to pass on family names. ‘Ben' is a meaningful name in our family.”

Rey exchanged another puzzled look with Ben. There was _definitely_ something odd going on with his mother. 

There wasn’t a lot of time to focus on that because someone called from across the room for Leia and she turned to see who it was. At the same time Ben grabbed Rey’s hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. Which instantly incited Rey’s flight instincts. 

“Ben! I don’t know how to do dance!” She hissed, her feet already getting in his way. “And that was so rude to leave your mother like that!”

“Don’t worry. She’s resilient.” The arm he’d slid around her waist tightened as Rey nearly stumbled again. “Relax, sweetheart. Just follow my lead.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s so easy,” she muttered. But she tried. Her eyes were down the entire time to keep an eye on her feet but she managed to keep up with him. By the time the first song finished, Rey wondered if maybe she liked dancing. The way he held her close to his chest in a near embrace was the best part, she had to admit. The band struck up another number and Rey, under Ben’s quiet instruction, was finally able to lift her eyes up to talk to her partner. 

“You’re a natural.” Ben grinned. “Maybe you’re related to Fred Astaire.”

“Why not Ginger Rogers? Or maybe I just have talent all my own.” Rey retorted with a toss of her head. “Legacy isn’t everything.”

“True. Sometimes it’s… hard.” 

Tilting her head to the side, Rey considered Ben. “In what way?”

Ben hesitated. “It’s… it’s a lot of pressure. If you’ve got one. One wrong move - no matter how small - and you go down in history as _that_ guy. The screwup.”

“You’re not a screwup.” Rey shifted the hand she had rested on Ben’s shoulder further up, looping her arm around his neck. There was an innate need in her to comfort him. Maybe because he’d done so much already for her and she wanted to reciprocate. But she also _wanted_ to. An odd twist had appeared on his beautiful face and Rey got the sense he didn’t agree with her assessment. 

“I’ve done some screwup things.” He said, continuing to turn them around the floor, slower now. “I acted out. It matters. Sometimes I wish I could just kill the past. Let it die and never look back.”

Rey hummed, unsure if she should push it and find out more. Not that it mattered. She knew the man he was now. Everyone made mistakes when they were young or going through something. His family had obviously forgiven him. Whatever he’d done in the past didn’t outweigh who she’d come to… to care for. 

Maybe that would help her. Maybe, when Rey told him what she’d done, he’d forgive her, too. 

“It matters, but what matters more is what you do after it. You shouldn’t forget it. What did you learn from it?” Rey glanced up, which was a bit difficult to do because of how close to his body he was holding her. Not that she minded. “That’s what you should focus on. Otherwise we’re doomed to repeat our mistakes.”

Ben tucked his chin in to meet her gaze; the skin around his eyes wrinkled as he smiled. 

“That’s almost profound, Niima.”

“I have my moments, Solo.” 

A laugh rumbled through Ben’s chest and he lowered his lips to her cheek before twirling Rey around the floor again, leaving her breathless. When they stopped she was so dizzy she clung to him like a cat on one of those motivational posters, certain that if she let go she’d fall into a table or something. 

“You okay?” He asked with barely restrained laughter. Rey didn’t answer until the room stopped spinning. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m-” her eyes found his and saw how bright they were and how wide his grin was - all teeth and dimples and joy. He took her breath away. “I’m great.”

* * *

Across the room, Leia sat with Poe and watched Ben and Rey stare at each other like a couple of lovesick teenagers, completely oblivious to anyone around them. 

“Poe. That girl is _definitely_ the mother of my grandchild.” Leia narrowed her eyes. “I don’t blame her of course. Whatever the plan, it was obviously my son’s idiotic idea.”

Her companion grunted. “There’s definitely something between them.”

“Yes. My grandson.” Leia muttered. 

She was going to confront her son about it. Soon. She’d be merciful and give him the holiday. But after, oh, after he was gonna get it.

* * *

The end of the night came sooner than Rey would have liked, much to her own surprise. She thought she’d want to go home as soon as she got to the gala but being with Ben had made all the difference. 

The drive back to the apartment was filled with a companionable silence. Throughout Ben had edged his hand closer and closer to Rey’s until their fingers were entwined. They held hands the rest of the way back. 

When they arrived he followed her up to the door. Rey had agreed to pick little Ben up from Maz’s at midnight, for which she’d set up an alarm. She checked her phone just before slotting her key into the door. 

Twenty minutes. 

She took a breath and pushed the door open but paused before entering the apartment. Ben was a heavy presence behind her and when she turned it was directly into his chest. She watched it rise and fall in a quick, steady rhythm. Her own breathing stuttered.

_Say something._

“Thank you,” she whispered, lifting her eyes to his. They were studying her in a gentle way which nonetheless left her mouth dry. “I-I had a wonderful time.”

“Me too.” He said quietly. “I always do with you.” He stepped close and settled a hand on her hip and lowered his head. Rey’s mouth parted and her eyes closed. 

His lips were even softer than she’d imagined and their fullness was delicious but the touch was so chaste, the contact so gentle, so light that  she could have mistook it for a breeze. When she opened her eyes he had a dazed look, as if he hadn’t thought she would have let him kiss her. 

As if she’d let the opportunity pass her by. Even if she should, she thought with a pang. 

But this was Christmas. 

Rey brought her hands to his cheeks and pulled herself up to press a more substantial kiss to his mouth. Nearly instantly his arms were around her as he answered with unbridled enthusiasm. Without breaking the kiss, Rey pulled him inside her apartment, closing her door with her back to it. 

Swiftly, he pressed her to the door, his lips migrating from her lips to slide down her throat; her dress was bunched in his hands at her hips. Rey let her head fall back against the wood and slipped her fingers into his hair. It was so soft and she gripped it tightly, scraping her nails against his scalp. A nip at her throat was his response and she gasped but then his lips slanted over hers again and every other noise she made was lost to his kiss. 

Pressed against him, feeling him everywhere but not nearly enough, Rey never wanted it to end but also needed oxygen. They parted simultaneously, chests heaving. Ben rested his forehead against hers and Rey watched his face split into a grin that sent flutters through her insides. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?” he rumbled. Rey pressed a featherlight kiss to his mouth and he instantly chased her lips for more. 

“No idea.” She murmured. He hummed and kissed her again. 

“I think you’d be surprised.”

Rey smiled against his lips. “Try me.” 

“Ever since you chewed me out in front of that social services lady.”

That _did_ surprise her. Rey drew back and gaped at him and the shit-eating grin he wore. “Really?”

“Uh huh.” Ben tugged her against him, twisting them and walking her backwards into the apartment. She didn’t know where he was going but she didn’t care either. “You said so many delicious things… I wanted to find out how good you tasted.”

Warmth spread through Rey's entire body. “Ben,” she groaned and he dipped his head to catch her lips. The back of her knees hit the end of the couch and she fell back on the cushions. Well, it was less of a fall and more of a gentle placement because Ben still had one arm wrapped around her waist and that prevented her from plummeting. Rey wriggled backwards to make more room for him and he clambered over her. She pushed at his jacket, wanting it off, wanting to better feel the strong arms that held her. He sat up and tore it away, tossing it somewhere behind him before settling himself between her thighs, their chests pressed together and mouths colliding in a frenzy of shared breaths and sighs. 

An alarm blared from Rey’s purse, breaking into the fervor with the effect of cold water, and she gasped. “The baby!”

Ben lifted his head, his hair a wild mess from Rey’s attentions. “Huh?”

“I have… I have to go pick up the baby from Maz.” Rey gulped a breath. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest. “It’s midnight.”

“Oh,” Ben blinked a few seconds before a joyous grin spread across his face. “Merry Christmas.”

A laugh bubbled through Rey’s chest and despite the need to get up and fetch the baby, she settled deeper into the couch and slid her arms around Ben’s shoulders to draw him closer. 

“Merry Christmas,” she murmured and kissed him again before she pushed at his chest. He lifted himself off of her and Rey sat up, swinging her legs - a little bit tangled in her skirts - off the couch. When she rose he stood up alongside her and she felt him tug at her hand. 

“Rey.” 

His voice was low and rumbled through her chest like thunder. Rey was drawn back to him in what she could only describe as a magnetic pull, unable to resist. He pressed his lips to her temple and she closed her eyes to savor his touch. 

“Can I come back tomorrow?” he asked softly. Rey nodded. 

“I’d like that.” She wasn’t able to see it but she could feel him smile against her temple. 

“Thank you.”

Rey walked him to the door, quickly silencing her phone and picking up his discarded jacket on the way. They paused at the door. Ben had one hand on the knob but was looking at her. Not with hunger or desire. Not completely. What Rey was struck by was how gentle his gaze was. Like he couldn’t and didn’t want to stop staring at her. Like he was memorizing what she looked like. 

The awful, gnawing guilt in her gut she’d come to be so familiar with hit her like a semi-truck. He was staring at her like he adored her and Rey knew for certain she didn’t deserve that. Whatever he thought of her was based on a lie. She couldn’t let whatever they had go any further without telling him the truth. And whatever the consequences were… she would face them. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! almost to the end! I hope y'all enjoy this little bit of an angst fest chapter... all will be resolved, I promise.❤️

Rey and little Ben spent a quiet Christmas morning together. She’d gotten him some new things - what she could afford - and helped him open the brightly wrapped packages while Christmas music played in the background.

But in the back of her mind was the nagging voice that kept reminding her of what she needed to do. 

She kept looking at the front door, anxiously awaiting Ben’s arrival. 

She’d stayed up nearly all night thinking. Thinking about all the days since little Ben had come into her life. Since Ben Solo had bumped into her. All the things he’d done for her and the baby. All the ways she’d lied to him. 

It wasn’t right. 

He deserved better.

Even if she was pretty sure she was falling for him. She’d never been an angel, but having any kind of relationship with Ben was wrong. It was all based on a lie. 

She would tell him the truth. And when she did it would all be over. This blissful, warm, familial dream that she had been living because of him would cease to exist. Unless some kind of miracle happened and he forgave her. 

But even if he didn’t it was the right thing to do. 

She wouldn’t tell him today. Not on Christmas. Not little Ben’s first Christmas. But soon. 

A cheerful knock announced the visitor she’d been expecting with equal parts dread and excitement.

“Okay.” Rey stood up and brushed imaginary dust off her pants. “It’s Christmas, Rey. You’ve got to be cheerful.” 

Little Ben looked up at her from his position on his play blanket next to the Christmas Tree. He squealed, flapping his arms and bouncing up and down. 

“I know, I know. Ben is here.” Rey bent over and picked the baby up. The little one immediately grabbed the necklace around Rey’s neck and held on to it while she moved to the door. Rey couldn’t help sighing in fond exasperation. “You have to be the most persistent kid on the planet.” 

The baby giggled, leading Rey to laugh a little herself. She didn’t think there was a better sound in the world than little Ben’s laugh. 

Another knock. 

“Right.” Putting her hand to the doorknob, Rey steadied herself and pulled it back. 

There he was. In his coat which was littered with snowflakes. With a grin a thousand miles wide. 

“Hey.” He greeted. 

“Hey.” Rey chewed at her lower lip. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. Again.” There was that grin. “Hey Ben,” he wiggled a finger at the baby, who instantly grabbed at it with a giggle. “Can I come in?”

Distracted by the interaction between Ben and the baby, Rey blinked. “Yes, yes of course.” She stood aside and as he passed noticed the giant Christmas gift bag in his hands. “What’s that?”

“A bag…” he hid it behind his back. “Of things.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “Did you get gifts? Ben, tell me you didn’t get me a gift. I didn’t get you anything! I didn’t know…” He held a hand up to stop her. 

“It’s not for you. It’s for little Ben.” He lifted a wrapped package from the bag. “Toys.”

“Oh. Um, thank you. That’s really… incredibly nice of you.”

Ben shrugged as he removed his coat before walking over to the tree. Rey followed him and sat on the couch as he knelt and removed the packages from the bag. “I don’t think of it that way. I wanted to. I would have bought something for you,” he glanced her way, the corner of his mouth quirking. “But I figured you wouldn’t accept it.”

“You figured right.” 

The baby squealed and fought Rey to get down, so she placed him on the floor and he belly-crawled toward Ben. Ben grinned and inched toward the baby, swooping him up in his arms before settling again by the tree. 

“You wanna open some presents now? Mom, can we open the presents?” Ben gave Rey a ridiculous puppy-like expression that left her grinning. 

“Yes. You can open presents.”

A few minutes later they were at the bottom of the little pile Ben had brought. There was one tiny package left and Rey reached for it, wondering what in the world was appropriate for a baby that was so small. 

Until she saw who it was for. 

“This one has my name on it… Ben!” Rey chided. “I thought you said you didn’t buy me anything.”

“I didn’t. Buy it, that is.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “What is it?”

“Open it.” He directed, lifting the baby onto his lap when little Ben burbled insistently. 

Of course he would have gone and gotten her something despite knowing she hadn’t gotten him a damn thing the big, kind idiot. Rey stared at the neatly wrapped box - red and gold paper with little ribbon designs all over it - and sighed. Might as well open it. 

She gingerly took the paper apart to reveal a small, black velvet jewelry box. It reminded her uncomfortably of what a ring might go in. Fingers trembling, she slowly lifted the lid and - with a relieved sigh she hoped wasn’t too obvious - saw that the item inside was not a ring. 

“Dice?”

Two gold dice lay inside, carefully nestled in a bed of tissue. They were connected by a short gold chain and inscribed with some kind of runes Rey didn’t recognize. 

“Yeah.” Ben nodded. Rey lifted her gaze to see that he was staring at the dice suspended in her fingers. “They were my dad’s.”

“Your dad’s?”

“He was a pilot. Air Force then commercial. He never flew without these. I guess he thought they were good luck.” Ben scooted forward until he was next to her. The baby tried to grab the dice from Rey’s hand, but she kept them out of reach of his tiny hands. “He died a few years ago. We argued… I never got the chance to say I was sorry or that I loved him. But the thing is…” Ben paused, working his mouth. “The thing is I think he already knew. Even though we’d fought. He already knew. “

Tears fell down Rey’s cheeks. She’d no idea. “Why?” she whispered and Ben pressed his lips together before raising his eyes to hers. 

“Because I think he would have wanted you to have them. He would have liked you.”

Rey stared at the dice that now rested in the palm of her hand, her skin feverish against the cold metal. This was too much. This meant too much.

“I can’t accept these.” She swallowed and dropped the dice back into their box. “Please take them back.”

The confusion on his face only made things worse. This was all such a giant mess. “I want you to have them. You mean a lot to me and… Rey, what’s wrong?”

She’d stood up. Her heart was pounding and she felt sick and dizzy. 

“I can’t. I can’t do this. Ben, I’m not who you think I am.” Rey put a hand to her chest. She could feel her heart hammering away beneath her palm. 

He was already standing. The baby in his arms had quieted and looked confused, ready to cry it seemed. Rey reached forward and took him from Ben. She needed to hold him. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry. I-” She gulped back a wave of tears. “But I can’t do it anymore.”

His face went blank. Completely unreadable. But she could see something in his eyes. Like all the emotion he was feeling was building there in a violent storm. 

“Can’t do what?”

“This.” She gestured between them. “I can’t.”

“Be with me?” Ben stated. “Why? You want to. I know you do. Why Rey? Say it.”

Rey sucked in a breath but the words - the truth - wouldn’t come out. Too much shame. He’d hate her for this, yes, but at least she wouldn’t be known as the criminal and liar she was. 

_Coward_. 

“I’m sorry. But I can’t… it won’t work.” Rey swallowed. That was true. A relationship based on a lie could never be successful. 

“What happened last night would say otherwise.”

Rey looked away, closing her eyes but that didn’t stop the tears from escaping. “Please, Ben. I’m not good for you. We won’t work.”

“You’re not even giving us a chance!” He exclaimed. “Why would you say you’re not good for me? You’re the best thing in my life. You and little Ben.”

Rey shook her head, wishing for all the world this nightmare would end. She never should have let herself get so close. Should never have let _him_ get so close.

“Just… believe me.” She whispered. The baby whimpered, sensing the turmoil in the room. Rey rubbed his back soothingly, but she knew it was only a matter of time before he wailed. She didn’t blame him. “I think you should leave.”

Shock radiated from Ben. She could feel it permeate every pore in her body. 

After a few seconds he stepped near. She could feel him beside her, his breath hot at her ear. “I don’t believe you. But… But if you tell me to go right now I will. And I won’t bother you again.”

There was this strange out of body sensation that came over her. Like watching yourself on a video doing something you don’t remember doing. She saw herself as if from above, viewing the whole tragedy happen and unable to do a thing about it.

“_Go_.”

* * *

Leia had waited long enough. Two whole days after Christmas and the only time she’d seen her son that week was for an hour on Christmas day. He’d made some excuse about a hangover but she knew where he was going. The same place she wanted to be. With her grandson.

Time for Ben to come clean. 

“Jessika,” Leia spoke into her office’s intercom. “Tell my son I’d like to see him. Please let Rey Niima in his department know the same. Also, get Poe up here.”

“Yes, Ms. Organa, right away.”

* * *

Why did his mother want to see him? Plans for his department were on track, finances looked good, they’d already had their monthly lunch… Ben ran through all the possibilities on the elevator ride up to his mother’s office. The gala had gone well. Sure he’d been curt on Christmas because he’d been eager to get to Rey’s but he thought he’d managed to pass it off as a hangover.

Rey.

The reminder deepened his already sour mood.

He thought Christmas with her and little Ben would be everything he’d dreamed.

But it wasn’t. 

She’d told him she didn’t want a relationship. She’d given back the dice. Ben had thought life was finally going his way and in one word she’d proved him wrong. 

_Go. _

Had he been moving too fast? He’d thought she was on the same page. Hell, it wasn’t like he’d proposed to her (even if that was at the forefront of his mind). The dice had been a gesture, sure, but nothing like a proposal. Not even close. 

He replayed the incident over and over in his mind. He’d never forget how she’d paled and looked like she either wanted to run out of the room or throw up or both. Then she’d taken the baby and with him went Ben’s hope. 

That cursed two-letter word came next and he left without a backwards glance.

He’d avoided her floor at work ever since. Not that he’d had much reason to go down their himself except for her. He was sure she was grateful. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable or quit because he didn’t know how to let things go. 

Was it meeting his mother? Had that been the final straw? He knew Leia was a handful but Rey had seemed the type who’d be able to withstand her. 

The elevator doors opened and Threepio ushered him out with hurried “Goodbye, master Ben.”

Ben hated it when he called him that. 

He nodded at Jessika as he passed. She nodded back. 

Entering the office, Ben saw Poe sitting in a chair beside his mother’s desk, looking for everything like he didn’t want to be there. 

“Hey, buddy.” He greeted Ben weakly. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Leia turned from her position looking out the window and there was an all-too familiar scowl on her face. The same one she’d worn after he’d come home from yet another fight at school. 

“He’s here at my invitation.” 

“Why? What do you want?” Ben didn’t have the time or the patience for this. “I’m busy.”

“Too busy to tell your mother you have a child?”

Ben nearly tripped over his own feet as he approached the desk.

“W-what?” 

His mother nodded and glided forward like royalty. “That’s right, Benjamin. I know. Rey’s son is your son. My grandchild.”

She’d snapped. Amilyn had mentioned once she thought his mother worked too much. This was it. This was the nervous breakdown Ben had been half-expecting since his father died. He glanced at Poe who was doing everything not to look at Ben. 

“What the fuck did you tell her, Dameron?” 

Leia snapped her fingers, forcing Ben’s attention back to her. “Poe has been nothing but upfront with me about this situation, unlike you.”

“Mom,” he spoke slowly and put a hand up as if taming a wild animal. “It’s not true.” 

“Oh, really, Ben.” Leia threw her hands up in apparent exasperation. “It’s obvious! He looks exactly like you!” 

“When have you even seen me with him?” Ben asked, thoroughly confused. Besides, little Ben had Rey’s eyes. His mother shrugged. 

“Last month. I saw you walk out with Rey. It was lovely. You’re a good looking family. But you should have told me!”

“There’s nothing to tell! Little Ben is _not_ my kid! How the hell is that even a thing?” 

Leia crossed her arms over her chest. “Rey started work in your department seven months ago. According to what you told Poe, not long after she’d had the baby. Things are quiet for awhile, you two did a very good job of being discrete, but a month ago something happens - I’m not sure what - and you give Rey a raise. Not quite ethical but we can deal with that later. After that you make multiple appearances with her. I suppose you thought it was safe enough - safe from what I don’t know - to be seen together.”

Ben could only gape at his mother as she outlined her case. 

“Poe told me you’ve bought things for her and the child. You spend an inordinate amount of time with them. Amilyn told me you were with Rey at the baby’s appointment.”

“Amilyn shouldn’t have told you that! She’s a doctor!” Ben exclaimed, his voice breaking on the last word. Leia waved him off. 

“She was careful not to cross too many lines. That’s not the point. Why didn’t you tell me I have a grandson? A grandson, might I add, named Ben? Which is apparently a family name on the father’s side?” Leia folded her arms across her chest and quirked an eyebrow, another posture he knew well. She’d thought she’d won. That she’d bested him. 

_What the actual fuck._

“Poe, tell her this is ridiculous!”

But Poe didn’t. “You’ve got to admit, Ben,” he said. “The entire thing is a little weird. You’ve been really… protective of them.”

Yes. He was going to strangle Poe Dameron. Absolutely. No doubt. Later. Right now he had a major fire to put out.

“Mom, you are one hundred percent wrong on this. He’s not min-”

“Ms. Organa? You wanted to see me?”

Ben’s heart stopped. 

_Oh no_. 

“Rey!” Leia rushed past Ben and pulled a stunned Rey into the room. Poe jumped up, apparently also surprised Rey was there. Ben thought this must be what watching a car wreck would feel like. He couldn’t move, couldn’t do a thing, and everything was in slow motion. “Thank you so much for coming, dear! This is Poe Dameron, by the way. One of our media representatives”

“Nice to meet you. Uh, have I done something wrong?” Rey glanced at Ben with what he thought was a little fear. He didn’t blame her. She should be afraid. This was a nightmare. A living nightmare. Maybe if Poe punched him he’d wake up. Or maybe if he punched Poe. 

His feelings must have read on his face because Rey’s eyes widened in panic. 

“No, no, of course not!” Leia rushed to assure her and looped an arm through Rey’s. “Quite the opposite. I want to talk about our family.”

_Oh, god._ She was going to confront Rey with this insane idea.

“Mom, no.” Ben was desperate. This was bad. This was very, _very_ bad. 

Leia shot him a look.

“Your family?” Rey’s eyes darted once again toward Ben, who was trying frantically to figure out a way to stop his runaway train of a mother. 

“_Our_ family.” Leia ushered Rey to sit in a chair by her desk. “I know, dear. I know the truth about your child.”

Too late. 

Immediate panic set on Rey’s face. Hell, her entire body went rigid, like she was ready to run. Ben frowned. That was a little weird. 

“What?” she breathed. “H-how?”

Ben did a double take. There actually was a truth? What truth? 

“It wasn’t hard to figure out.” Leia sniffed. “It was painfully obvious, in fact.”

Ben watched Rey slump in the chair. Almost like she was defeated. If there was ever a time in his life he was more confused than that moment he couldn’t remember it. 

“Mom, stop this.” Rey was hurting. Whatever she was hiding, whatever was making her so sad, shouldn’t come out like this. 

Leia whipped around on him and Ben knew he was in trouble. “You don’t get to say a word. You’ve been lying to me for months.” 

“It’s not Ben’s fault!” Rey cried, on the verge of tears. It took all of Ben’s self control not to go over and pull her into his arms. “It’s mine. It’s all my fault! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean for any of this to happen!”

And she broke down. Completely. Sobbing and everything. 

Ben didn’t know what to do and from the startled expression on his mother’s face, neither did she. Poe was slowly edging his way to the door. 

Ben risked a step toward Rey’s chair. “Rey…”

Her head reared up in what was definitely panic. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll resign. I mean, I do resign, of course. I… I’m sorry. Ms. Organa, I’m sorry. Ben, I… I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I-”

Whatever was next she didn’t finish. She only stared at him, breathing erratic, tears streaming down her face. Ben had no clue what she meant but was certain the thing she was panicking over was not worth it. It wouldn’t change how he felt about her. If she would only fucking _tell _him. 

Instead she uttered another apology and hurried out of the office, forcing Poe to jump out of her way. But he soon followed her out. Which put off his inevitable fate but Ben would find him later. 

Shocked silence filled the room. Neither he nor his mother spoke for what seemed like a good two minutes. 

“That,” Leia paused. “That was not what I expected.”

Ben placed his palms flat on the desk as he leaned against it. He needed a tether, something solid because his mind was spinning in a thousand different directions. 

“What the fuck.”

“Benjamin.”

“Sorry.”

His mother turned. He could feel her eyes on him, watching him, scrutinizing him in that special Leia Organa way. 

“I’m willing to admit,” she cleared her throat, “when I’m wrong. And I think I definitely misread this situation.”

Ben huffed. “Ya think?” 

“But that girl is in something over her head.” Leia continued, disregarding his remark. “What’s going on, Ben?”

He sighed. He wished he could tell her. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me what you do know.”

Ben sucked in a deep breath. Might as well. He told his mother everything, marking the first he’s been completely honest with her since he was a teenager. He told her how he met Rey. Every interaction. Right up to when he offered his father’s dice to her. 

“You gave her the dice…” Leia murmured. “Ben…”

“She didn’t want them.” He said tightly. “She didn’t want me.”

Leia made a derisive noise. “You’re an idiot.” 

“Not really what I want to hear right now, Mom.” Ben said flatly. 

“I’m your mother. I’m not going to tell you what you _want_ to hear. I saw you two at the gala and her reaction just now. She cares about you. Deeply. And I think you care about her, too.”

He swallowed. “I do.” More than he’d thought he’d care about anyone. “But you saw what she did here. There’s something I can’t control. She hasn’t told me. She doesn’t want to.”

“She’s afraid.” Leia put a hand over his. “Whatever the thing is that’s keeping you apart, help her end it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna be honest, i had a lot of trouble with this chapter. I went back and forth over the best way for Rey and Ben to break because i already had how she told him written out and it wasn't for this chapter but i felt they needed some tension. so i hope when the next chapter comes out everything molds together well. chapter nine is coming soon so hang on!


	9. Chapter 9

Rey got home to find social services waiting outside her door. 

Fifteen minutes later little Ben was gone and she was alone, lucky that they weren’t going to press charges. And that was only because they were embarrassed they’d let a nobody take a baby without the proper procedure.

It took longer for her to breakdown than she thought it would. Then again, shock was a funny thing. Reality finally crashed down on her while she was in the middle of a much needed shower. The tears rolled and she didn’t bother to stop them. She sat down in the shower and let the water go cold as she cried and cried. Only when she was hoarse and shivering did she finally force herself to get out. 

After she dressed in her oldest sweatpants and t-shirt and meandered back out to her living room. The remnants of the baby’s residence were strewn about the place: a blanket, one of his bottles, a toy Ben had brought for Christmas. 

Ben. 

She’d screwed that up, too. His mother had found out and told him. How Leia had learned about little Ben Rey didn’t know. But she should have guessed someone like Leia Organa would have the resources for that. And all because Rey had been so selfish. Rey knew she should have told Ben on Christmas, when she had the chance. But ultimately she couldn't do it. Couldn't face him. Couldn't face the truth. Stupid. It was all so stupid. She was so stupid. 

Prepared for the next wave of tears with a box of tissues in her hand, Rey lay down on her couch and stared at the ceiling. 

When had she begun to care? Why? What good did any of it do? 

A few minutes and a lot of tissues later Rey was still lost in her grief when a knock announced a visitor at her door.

The last thing she wanted right now was to see anyone. Not Finn or Rose or Maz. No one.

“I’m not home!” She yelled, fully aware of how stupid that was. 

“Rey!”

She shot up. Ben. Ben was outside?

“Please, Rey.” Yes, that was definitely him. She groaned and threw her arm over her face. Perfect. “Please let me in. I just want to talk to you. I need to know you’re okay. Both of you.”

Her heart constricted. She rose and moved toward the door but she didn’t know why. There was no point to it now. Nevertheless, she slowly put a shaking hand on the knob and turned it to reveal Ben looking the most disheveled she’d ever seen him. But the relieved look in his eyes fell into confusion as he looked her up and down, taking in her mussed clothes and red-rimmed eyes. Rey knew she looked dreadful but she didn’t care either. None of it mattered anymore. 

“Rey,” he breathed. “Sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

Fresh tears ran down her cheeks and Rey turned back into the apartment, in search of a tissue to wipe her runny nose. She heard Ben step in behind her and the door click shut. Grabbing the near-empty box of tissues lying on the couch amidst their used brethren, Rey pulled a wad out and blew her nose. Her gaze landed on little Ben’s giraffe - it must have dropped out of the baby’s bag as the social worker left - and her throat closed up with renewed emotion. Bending down, Rey gingerly picked it up from where it had fallen on the floor and hugged it to her chest, pressing her nose into the soft down and inhaling deeply. 

The baby’s scent filled her senses and she broke down again, burying her face in the stuffed animal and releasing a grieved cry, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. 

Strong arms were around her in an instant and Rey found herself pulled tightly to Ben’s chest. She didn’t protest. She didn’t have the strength and - though she hated to admit it to herself - she’d been craving his embrace for the past hour. 

“Please, sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong. Let me help.”

A shudder went through her as a fresh wave of tears streamed down her face. If there was any silver lining to the ordeal, it was that at least now she didn’t have to lie. “They took him back,” she whispered, her voice cracked and dry from the force of her sobbing. “Little Ben. They took him back.”

“Who did?”

Rey scowled against his chest. “You know who.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t.” He drew back and gingerly wiped her tears from her cheeks. Rey didn't understand. He looked as confused as she felt. 

“B-but your mother… she said…”

Ben shook his head. “My mother thought little Ben was mine. My kid. That you and I had been a thing for awhile.”

Oh. _Oh_. 

That was the icing on the cake. 

Rey groaned and pulled away. She held little Ben’s giraffe to her chest, as if drawing strength from it. She really did have to tell him then.

“A social worker came and took the baby.” Her tone was blank, tired; she was ready for all of this to end. 

“Why did they do that?” Ben asked, more gently than she’d expected.

“Because he’s not mine.” Rey whispered, blinking back more tears. “I found him. When you saw me that morning I had just found him. He’d been left on the steps of that fucking place and he was going to fall. I ran over to pick him up.” Her entire body was shaking, the cold from outside seeping into her bones as she watched Ben’s eyes widen in realization. “I tried to tell you then…” she sniffed. “I did but you said you’d give me my job back and… And a raise and I needed it so badly. I thought it would be easy. I was just going to keep him for a little while and then when I’d saved enough I was going to take him back but…” Rey crumpled onto the couch, unable to face Ben, unable to take the pain standing up. Fresh tears flowed down her cheeks and she hid her face in little Ben’s toy again.

When she raised her head again she saw that Ben was kneeling beside her. “But what?” he asked softly. Rey hiccuped another sob and swallowed back a second. 

“But he got to me.” She bit down on her lower lip to stop it from trembling. “I love him so much, Ben. So much it hurts. I didn’t want it to happen. But it did. He’s just like me,” she pressed a hand to her chest where she could feel her own erratic heartbeat thumping against her palm. “Nobody wanted him like nobody wanted me. But I do. I want him.” 

Ben rested his hands on her knees, his thumbs drawing soothing circles into her flesh. “Did they say anything, Rey? Why you couldn’t keep him?” he asked, his tone still calm and comforting. Rey didn’t understand why he was being so kind. She’d just told him she’d been lying and taking advantage of his kindness for months. 

Rey took a deep breath. “They said because of the legality issue and my ‘unstable financial circumstances’ I wasn’t a good candidate for adoption.” She looked at the giraffe and shook her head sadly. “I’m not good for him anyway. I’m…I’m selfish. I’m a liar. I _used_ him to get money from you. It was a mistake to keep him. I may want him but I’m not the person who should raise him.”

“Bullshit.”

The jarring harshness of his tone caused Rey to flinch in surprise. “What?” 

“Bullshit. You’re a great mom. It doesn’t matter how you got him. You love him.” Ben’s eyes were bright and intense. They burned into Rey. “He needs you.”

Was he real? Rey wondered if she might be having a fever dream. He should be livid. He shouldn’t be comforting her. So much frustration bubbled up inside her that spilled out of her in anger. 

“Stop it. Just, stop it!” she growled. The surprise on his face didn’t deter her. “Stop comforting me! You should hate me! Why don’t you hate me?” She buried her face in little Ben’s stuffed animal again, wanting to scream but settling for a quieter groan. 

“Rey.” There was an insistence in his tone, a gentle command that she couldn’t help responding to. She forced herself to meet his eyes. Those beautiful, dark eyes that seemed to hold the universe within them and now looked so gently on her. And a little sad. “I’m the last person who should judge anyone for their mistakes. I’ve made a few of my own. Bad ones.”

She gave him a look. “Have you ever committed fraud and stolen a baby?”

A wry smile tugged on his lips. “No. But technically you only did one of those things. Little Ben was kind of pushed at you.” He lifted his hand to tuck a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. Rey didn’t try to resist the urge to lean into his touch. 

“I wanted to tell you so many times,” she admitted. “I wanted to tell you the truth but I was afraid…”

His fingers gripped her knee just a little tighter. “Afraid of what?”

“That you’d never forgive me. That I’d never see you again. That I’d lose little Ben.” She gasped, unable to stop the flow of admission. Things she’d been denying herself. “I don’t… I don’t want to be alone. And now I am.” She didn’t mean to sound so pitiful. She didn’t want sympathy. She’d survived without it her entire life. Doing it again wouldn’t break her. 

“What did I tell you?” The palm he held against her cheek slid to cradle the back of her head. “You’re not alone.”

A few seconds passed where she could only breathe. His face was so… calm. Almost serene. A barely there smile lifted the corners of his mouth butlit his eyes like a sunrise. 

And that was it. 

A whimper escaped her throat and she grabbed his face and kissed him. Ben’s arms slid around her as he pulled himself onto the couch and enthusiastically deepened the kiss. His hold was almost too tight but felt so good Rey did what she could to wriggle closer, ending up in his lap. 

When they parted for breath Rey hid her face in the crook of his neck and relaxed against his chest. His arms were secure and tight around her. It was odd to be held like that. Comforted. Safe. Not odd in a bad way, but she wasn’t used to it. Maybe she never would be. 

She didn't know how long they sat like that before he spoke again. All she knew was that she really didn't want the moment to end. 

“Hey.” His voice rumbled through her chest, his hand sliding up and down her back. “We need to go.”

Frowning, Rey lifted her head. “Go where.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Go get little Ben.”

“Go get… I can’t.” Rey shook her head. He hadn't listened. “I told you what they said.”

“Yes, I know. But we have a secret weapon.”

Rey tilted her head to the side, a deep frown etched between her brows. “What do you mean?”

A downright devious expression rolled across Ben's face. 

“My mother, who can pull more strings than a harpist.”

****

For the second time that day Rey was seated in Leia Organa’s office, but this time it wasn’t under false pretenses or false assumptions. 

Ben took the lead and explained what happened, which relieved Rey. She didn’t know if she could take the embarrassment of telling the story twice. Especially to his mother. Rey expected that Leia would be severe and serious; possibly refuse to help. But Leia Organa was not a predictable woman. 

To Rey's utter shock, she laughed. 

“Well,” Leia hummed once she calmed down, though a chuckle escaped every now and then. “That certainly is an extraordinary tale.”

Rey managed a half smile, mostly from embarrassment. “My life in a nutshell.” Ben was in the chair next to Rey's, holding her hand, and now he squeezed it reassuringly. “Is there anything we can do to get little Ben back?” she asked. She hated how much her voice shook. Leia’s face softened. 

“I think there’s someone I can call.” She released a satisfied hum and leaned back in her office chair. “I’m so happy to see you two have figured things out. The best part is that I’m a grandmother with no wait!”

A strangled laugh escaped Rey’s throat. Did she think she was embarrassed before? No. That was fun. Before was fun. She cast a quick look at Ben to see what had to be an even deeper level of mortification on his face.

“Mom!” he croaked. 

“What? You’re together, aren’t you?” Leia quirked a brow. 

Ben opened his mouth but closed it before answering. Instead he turned to Rey. “Are we?”

The question surprised her before she realized they hadn’t really discussed the matter. After what their talk at her apartment she hadn’t thought it _needed _to be discussed. 

“Y-yes.” She blurted. “If- if you want to be.” She added, just in case. 

He nodded vehemently. “I do. I do. If you do.” 

“Oh, for goodness sake.” Rey caught Leia’s eye roll and heard her mutter something about the two of them being infuriatingly indecisive before she added aloud: “Can we move on?"

Rey squeezed Ben’s hand as she nodded, the brightest grin on her face and feeling for all the world like she was floating. 

“Good. Now you two sit tight and let me handle things.” Leia stood up. “I have it all under control.”

****

The drive to Social Services seemed to take forever. Rey couldn’t stop bouncing a knee, chewing her bottom lip as she watched the city go by, the car carrying them closer and closer to their goal. Ben must have sensed her distress because he reached over from the driver's side and squeezed her hand in an attempt to be reassuring. Rey gripped his hand tightly and took a deep breath, reminding herself everything was going to be fine. She just needed to be calm. 

But when their short journey was over Rey flung herself out of the car with only one thought in her mind: 

She wanted her baby back. 

****

Thanks to Leia’s mysterious contact - Rey didn’t try to guess who she called or how she managed to pull the strings - the adoption process only took a few hours. After Rey signed the mountain of legal papers they had to wait while the Social Services people fetched little Ben. Rey paced the floor of the office to which they'd been lead for the paperwork. 

“Sweetheart, maybe you should sit?” 

Before Rey could heed Ben’s suggestion, the woman Rey had met months before entered the room carrying little Ben and Rey rushed forward to take him from her. The woman gave her a startled expression but said nothing other than a rushed ‘congratulations’ before leaving the room.

“Hi, baby,” Rey gushed as she hugged little Ben to her chest. The baby broke into a wide smile and touched Rey’s face with a chubby hand. Fresh tears, this time of joy and relief, ran down Rey’s cheeks and she kissed that tiny hand before peppering the baby’s entire face with kisses. He was safe. He was hers. Officially. 

Ben drove them back to Rey’s apartment. Little Ben was sleeping when they arrived and Ben and Rey moved as smooth and quietly as possible as they worked together to make up his crib and put him to bed. Rey didn’t want to leave him but Ben insisted she let the little one alone. She needed rest too. 

In the living room once again, Rey collapsed on her couch with a deep sigh and Ben sat down beside her. 

For a few moments silence reigned around them until Ben cleared his throat conspicuously and Rey threw a frown at him. He coughed again and spread his hands over his knees. 

“So.”

“So?” Rey prodded, unsure of what he wanted and too tired to guess. 

Ben gave her an intent look and turned his body to face her. “What’s next?”

Ah. 

For the first time, Rey knew absolutely what came next. No question. 

She smiled and shifted closer to him. His expression changed from unease to relieved in a matter of seconds before he pulled her onto his lap. Rey looped her arms around his neck as she curled into him. 

“We do whatever we want.” She murmured, her forehead pressed to his. Contentment washed over her in a warm wave. 

Ben lifted his head. “I love you,” he said softly, brown eyes catching and locking with hers. “I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. It may have happened in a really unorthodox way, but god I’m glad it did. I love you. I love both of you. And I will say it every second of every day if you’ll let me.”

Maybe the admission should have shocked or scared her considering how short a time they'd known each other but neither of those things happened. For the first time she wasn’t afraid. Instead, unadulterated joy filled her up, so much so that she thought it might spill out into the room. Into the hall. Into the street and beyond. 

“I love you, too, Ben Solo,” she murmured, lowering her mouth to his but pausing before meeting his lips to add: “_almost_ as much as little Ben.”

He laughed, the grin that spread over his face lighting her entire world. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

* * *

Eight months later - on weekend vacation to Canto Bight - Rey and Ben stood in a small wedding chapel and got married. It hadn’t been planned. They saw the chapel and just… decided. 

Perhaps they were impulsive. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest decision. But both Rey and Ben preferred to think of it as that they knew what they wanted. They loved each other and Ben was ready to fully adopt little Ben as his own. Why wait?

Neither of the pair had quite realized, of course, just how livid Leia would be once the news of their abrupt marriage reached her. 

Ben would never live it down. But one lavish second ceremony and two more grandchildren later, Leia didn’t mention it as much at family gatherings. 

At least, not in front of the kids. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I can't believe it's over. Of course, that's the feeling I have when I finish any fic. It's always bittersweet. I have to thank all you lovely readers who gave kudos and comments and read and enjoyed this story! I'm honestly shocked and humbled at the response it got! There were some who commented that this tale helped them through all the post-TROS grief and I just wanna say that I'm so glad I was able to make it a little better. The stories I have read and continue to read about Ben and Rey comfort me and I can't express how much it means to me that I was able to do that for you lovely readers. That's all I ever want for my stories: to give back a little the love and inspiration I've felt from this fandom. 
> 
> I'm going to keep writing about Ben and Rey. I'm going to finish the tales I've started (and I've got a couple new ones in the works, too) because they mean too much to me to let go. And it makes me existentially happy to see that so many of you all are doing the same! Keep creating Reylovelies! We've got so many more stories to tell! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**Author's Note:**

> For more reylo silliness follow me on [tumblr](https://star-toured.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/StarToured)!


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